Carving Tomorrow from a Tombstone
by Plagued Porcelain
Summary: Landyr Kasra just landed a job as the bodyguard of Bastila Shan. The young mercenary woman remembers nothing about her past and hardly remembers yesterday. She is desperately trying to regain both. It's too bad she's addicted to the very things inhibiting her memory. This story does not follow canon much. *FemRevan / Carth*
1. Chapter 1: Beginnings and Rebeginnins

A/N: soooo... My last little Knight of the Old Republic story did not turn out as I thought. The character I was portraying ended up being terribly written and I discontinued the story by just making it a one-shot. This one I feel may be possibly and hopefully different. Although overconfidence is a path to a Dark side. I digress... The main reason I think this one will prevail is partly because of the character and story of Revan are beautifully written. Thanks to Lucas Arts and Bioware, all I really have to do is plug-in more scenarios, extra dialog, give some life to the character the way I see fit and give her a major flaw. All this makes me extremely happy as I am lazy, but we'll blame it on the fact I do not want to take away from the fantastic work Lucas Arts and Bioware created. If you have any questions about my story or would like to improve it, I would be grateful if you PM me as I can see to it in a personal way.

Disclaimer: I own not the awesomeness of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, any of the Star Wars-created ideas such as _Manda_, nor some of the songs that will be featured in this piece (although I have made some changes to them to keep with the cannon of the plot). I will also give credit to Paul Brady because the title was taken from a stanza of his song "The Island". (Spoiler: that song is pretty salient to this piece. I'd even go as far to say it is a motif.)

Enjoy! and don't forget to REVIEW!

~Plagued Porcelain

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Carving Tomorrow from a Tombstone

Chapter 1

"Don't struggle; this will be easier if you don't." They watched as she trashed about. The blow to her head was very traumatic. Her rational brain was not the prominent entity in her mind. The Dark side was manipulating her. Of course, she was severely angry. Her own apprentice had shot her ship out of the sky while she was aboard. Although her conscious mind had shut down to protect her, she flailed and tried to kill the Masters of the Jedi as they worked on healing her.

"Don't touch me! Let me die with honor!" She just kept screaming those words. Something had changed within her. It was not only the Dark side, but Mandalorian ideologies that presented themselves as troublesome to their efforts. Her heritage and culture screamed out with angst.

As they healed her, they stripped away her memories and started to create a new identity. Her home planet became Deralia and she became a skilled mercenary who had trained with the Republic and had done serious work on Nar Shaddaa. She had no father she remembered and her mother died from an illness when she was young. She had no siblings to take care of and so she had been on her own for a while. Her friends were just hired guns and left as soon as the job was done. So many lies were woven inside her mind and she began to believe them. One of the Jedi Masters broke a connection, severing her ability to remember things past a day. Forcing a pill down her throat, he made sure it remained that way by putting the action of breaking the connection within the pills themselves. She screamed again, crying out "Manda!" Her voice became hoarse and she lay in tears before the council. "Give me death… Please," she sobbed.

"You will receive no such mercy. Just remember the shrieking of millions and the crying of the Force as you ravaged Malachor V." And she was left. Her mind was merciful and shut down. Every previous memory was gone and replaced. She would not even remember begging for mercy. And it was better that way.

**_X~X~X~ Many months later ~X~X~X_**

~Bastila~

"Master Vandar, are you sure this is going to work? I'm afraid she'll be recognized. She was one of the generals for the war. Surely someone will know her…" I laid all of my doubts in front of the wizened Jedi. To calm my nervous mind I kept reciting the Code: _There is no emotion; there is peace…_

"Padawan, do not have fear. Fear is a taint of the Dark side. There is no chaos; there is harmony. Let this mantra dissuade your doubts and fears from blinding you from your task. She remembers not and if someone by chance recognizes her, tell them that they are mistaken. I trust in you and your mission; do you do the same?" He released me from meditating with him. Opening the blinds to let the light shine through, I could see the sun setting. And then I could hear her disgusting voice, laughing enjoyably at some joke or having fun playing with the children. **_She _**_was the Dark Lord of the Sith? _I snorted with the thought.

Returning my gaze to Vandar, I answered, "Yes, Master." I moved to leave, my robes falling ceremoniously about me, hearing the soft _tink _of my lightsaber scraping the ground as I moved. "Though it is not my doubts that blind me from my task, it is the lure of the Dark side. Her energy reeks of it. How am I to focus when all I want to do is to smother the Dark side from my presence? How do I work with someone so tainted?"

"By acknowledging it. Take her on in battle. Practice meditating near her. Do whatever you feel is right to make sure you understand the Dark side that haunts her. When you fully know how it feels, push a cleansing force through your mind. Clean the darkness from her. But in order to do this, you need to be able to know your limits and keep true to the Light side. If you struggle against it, push yourself away and regain you strength. Soon it will be a nuisance at most. It will not bother you."

"I understand, Master. I will try to do this." I was not focusing on him. I was concentrating on wrapping myself in the Light side, creating a protective cover with my mind.

His stern look surprised me as he narrowed his eyes. Correcting me, he raised a finger and pointed. "Do or do not. There is no try."

"Yes, Master Vandar. I will." I bowed and left, heading for my quarters, wishing not to pass her. Unfortunately for me, she was coming my way, possibly to speak with Master Vandar.

"Bastila," she greeted me happily. "Are you turning into bed so soon? I thought maybe since you've been so kind to me I could invite you to see the fireworks happening tonight to christen our departure on the Endar Spire." She didn't look like the Dark Lord of the Sith. Her long, curly mess of auburn hair looked more like a rat's nest on her head, the thick coils bounced relentlessly against her head every time she walked. Of course, during the Mandalorian War she had cut it ridiculously short. Now it was to the middle of her back.

"Kasra, I'm sorry, I've had a rough night. I appreciate your offer, but we have a long day tomorrow. I also suggest you go to sleep as well." I started off again, only to hear whisper.

"These may be the last fireworks you'll ever see." I turned around and saw Landyr's green eyes downcast and her head bowed in defeat. Rather than being compassionate or at least have some understanding that she was thinking about me, I shot back: "I'll just pretend the blaster fire from our enemies are fireworks…" I left her in the hallway, stalking off to my room. If someone greeted me on my way back, I paid no heed and soon enough I was able to begin my meditation.

~Landyr~

Pushing my hair out of my face, I nervously approached Master's Vandar's room. "Come in, child," I heard from behind the door. _Shit, he can sense me! Ah, he knows I'm nervous!_

I pushed the button to open the door and entered. "Master Vandar? You wished to speak with me?" I glanced to the side and saw Master Zhar standing near the windows. "Master," I nodded to him.

"Landyr, please come sit. We have much to speak of." As I sat in front of him, Zhar joined him, sitting in a meditative position. "First things first: how is your head feeling?"

I touched my head unconsciously. "There is only a dull pain. I haven't had hallucinations in a while." Before I had come to the Jedi, I had had an accident. I had taken a bad blow to the head. My friend had taken me to the Jedi, hoping they could reconstruct my mind. I had been taking pills prescribed by Master Vandar that would keep my hallucinations of Jedi and Dark Jedi and the Sith away. The pills would also prevent my headaches. The only side effect of them was minor memory loss. I had a hard time remembering yesterday. But it didn't really faze me; after the accident I remembered nothing about my pass and my friend who had taken me to the Jedi left me. My philosophy has always been: make the best of everything you have. It's sort of like the fireworks tonight; they may be the last fireworks I ever see and I won't remember them by tomorrow, so I better have a lot of fun watching them tonight.

"That is good. Very good in fact. Sooner or later you'll stop having pain, but you'll still need to take the pills. You'll need them until the day you die." He huffed a sigh of encouragement as I thought about death. Had I not faced it and lived once? Plus, I'm a soldier, if I died it would be because of my job. "How much do you remember?"

"Um, I'm not for sure how to answer this." I closed my eyes to think. As I tried to connect my thoughts together, I noticed my finger was moving as if physically linking my ideas together. I stopped it and opened my eyes again. "I remember what you've told me, but I do not remember little details about what I did yesterday and my memory gets vaguer from there. I remember how to fight and what my name is and what my morning and evening routines are and who Bastila is. But I find myself using a Datapad to keep track of what I've done and who I've met and if I've taken my pills." Thinking that was sufficient enough, I looked up, waiting for a reply.

Zhar shifted softly, drawing my attention rapidly. I had forgotten he was there. I let my eyes relax after noticing they had gone wide in fright. I tried to slow my heart that the adrenaline had sent pounding away. Something I had forgotten: the pills also cause paranoia, or what Master Vandar called heightened sense. I returned to looking at Master Vandar after hearing his voice being cleared. "Landyr, you're making progress and you are taking it upon yourself to keep your mind clear and focused on important pieces of memory by putting them on a Datapad. Zhar, you have something you wished to say, am I wrong?"

"I do have something. Landyr, I've made enough pills to last you six months. If you need more, I have programmed the directions in a Datapad. You can convert the file to your personal Datapad. I used common materials so you would be able to recreate it at a low price. All of the information you need is in this Datapad." He handed it to me and went back to meditating. I didn't quite understand him. He was mysterious and barely talked. Maybe he just didn't like me, but I felt estranged to him every time we had a conversation.

"Please continue to take your pills. There are very severe side effects if you stop taking them and it could result in your death. Soon enough though it will just feel natural to take them. But to make sure you take them I have provided your superiors with the information. They will make sure you take the pill. The better health you are in, the more successful you will be protecting Bastila." Vandar stood, touching Zhar's shoulder softly. He looked out of the window to see the brilliant flashes of colored light. "You should go enjoy those. They are for you and your company. I wish you good luck and farewell." He ushered me outside and then closed the door again.

Not knowing what I should do, I wandered outside. Bastila could not enjoy them with me; why should I enjoy them? Deciding it would be better to sleep instead, I turned to go back inside. I ran into the hard chest of another soldier. Looking up at him, I smiled and apologized.

He remained unthreatening and patted my head like I was a child. "Little woman, you should listen more. I was talking to you." I took in the sight of his armor. _Mandalorian_.

"Yes?"

"My name is Kelborn. I was wondering if you knew what these fireworks are for."

"A departure of crew and ship." Mandalorians could not be trusted, although I'd rather work with one knowing they were untrustworthy than work with someone who had gained my trust and then spent it.

"Fireworks are seen often on Core worlds?"

"I heard that they are shown often enough here on Coruscant." I leaned against the banister of the balcony I was on. "What brings a lone Mandalorian to Coruscant anyways?"

"Personal Business."

"Bounty hunting?" It was a good enough guess. Many Mandalorians became bounty hunters after the war.

"No, my wife was imprisoned for killing a Republic soldier after he murdered our son after the war ended. I am here to testify for her. And I am staying with the Jedi as they offer asylum." He lifted an arm to her, waving. "I grow tired of conversation. Good luck in your travels… I didn't get your name."

"Landyr Kasra."

"Farewell, Landyr Kasra. I do not forget faces. I will remember you, little woman." He ventured back inside and left me standing there. A cold burst of wind swept past me as a speeder went by. Unconsciously, I thought, _I will not be able to remember you, Kelborn the Mandalorian. I hope your wife lives._

**_X~X~X~ The next morning ~X~X~X_**

"Pills!" my mind screamed, but the thought was so urgent I must have uttered it as my dorm mate, a woman by the name of Shaleana, glared at me for the noise. Turning over again, she ignored me and must have thought I was a crazy drug addict. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out the canister and took one of the small pills. For something so small, it had a lot of power. Maybe it was just the plants used to make it, but they were pretty common.

As I stood in front of the mirror I debated with my hair. There was only so much I could do. It draped over my head like ivy. There was going to be a sending off with many reporters and such so I decided it would be better to take a shower and then manage it.

I let the warm water pour down upon me, rinsing my hair of impurities and conditioning it with olive oil. I heard my comlink bleep as I was toweling off. And then I heard her voice. "Kasra, it's Bastila. The opening ceremony is in fifteen minutes." I stumbled out of the shower, banging my elbow on the doorframe. Scowling at the metal support, I cursed it in Mando'a. I dressed in my normal clothes: small black leather shorts, a white tee-shirt and a dark gray sleeveless robe. Little black military boots finished it off at the bottom while I pinned my hair up into a high ponytail after creating a braided headband that encircled my head. It would keep my hair from getting a little frizzy. I checked my Datapad to see if I had forgotten anything. I had taken my pill, which was the most salient thing on my checklist. I left Shaleana alone and asleep.

~Bastila~

I watched her weave through the crowd, moving unnoticed like a shadow. _Force manipulation._ She didn't look like any other soldier on board the Endar Spire. But I suppose that would be because she's a mercenary. She moved to the front and stood off to the side near the end of the line of soldiers, not wishing to receive attention from the crowd. And then I sensed it. A sense of familiarity arose in her. As Admiral Dodonna was wishing us safe travelling and easy victories I watched her look into the crowd. She raised a hand symbol to the audience, to one member in particular. To the Mandalorian, Kelborn. _She's showing signs. Surely she would have remembered him._

"Bastila," Dodonna called me back. "As you know, you have taken on a grave mission. Understand that the lives of my soldiers are in your hands and it will be on your hands that their blood is spilt. Do not feel guilt for it is their duty and their job. Just do not waste such precious life if you do not have a need to. I am sending my best men with you. They are experienced enough to fight with exceptional prowess even without your Battle Meditation. I hope you understand the position you are in and your mission. You may just be a Padawan, but we are entrusting you with a mission meant for a Knight. Go forth and let the Force be with you."

I bowed to her and to the troops assigned to me and the ship. This was the time in which I was supposed to give my speech. _Force! I had not practiced one or even thought of one. I am going to make a fool out of myself. I guess this is what I deserve for worrying and not having my priorities straight._ "Ladies and gentlemen of the press, the Jedi academy, crew of the Endar Spire, and all of you gathered here, I bid you farewell with these words." Infusing some Charisma into my words, I continued, "We have overcome dangerous obstacles before. We are now starting to rebuild Telos and many of the other planets destroyed by the Sith and the Mandalorians before them." I looked to Kelborn in the crowd. He knew I was accusing him. _Good._ "There is no failure of the Republic that will not be solved. Whether it is fixing a hyperdrive on one of our ships to enduring a reign of the Sith, we will overcome it! I can assure you that these men and women standing before you have dedicated their lives to keeping you safe and they will keep their oaths they made to you, even if they must accept death. The Force lives on, whether we die or we live. Life goes on. No matter the circumstance we will prevail in the end. It is our destiny." I ended my speech and acknowledged the thunderous applause from my audience and war cries from my crew. But I was not happy. I had been overconfident and proud. It was not the Jedi way. It would lead to the Dark side. I could feel the disapproving stares of my Masters, but I knew I had accomplished one thing: I had won the hearts of my crew and more importantly, the Republic.

The next speeches made Carth Onasi and one by Master Vandar were long but I did not have the desire to pay attention. I was focused on my charge, Kasra. What all had she remembered? Had she recalled that she had saved the young Mandalorian man from the destruction of Malachor V, saying that it was dishonorable to kill a wounded and unarmed man?

Applause stirred me from my ponderings. It was time to board. Onasi pulled me off to the side so that we could welcome all of the crew aboard, shaking their hands. As the line dwindled, I could tell Kasra was going to be the last one. I watched her reattach her blaster to her hip. She had killed someone?! As the person before her left, she smiled sweetly and stuck out her hand. "Landyr Kasra, mercenary."

I could see the blaster scorch mark on her hand. I accused her. "Who did you kill just now?" Carth looked surprised and shook her hand for show.

Admiral Dodonna and Master Vandar came up to flank us. I repeated my question, "Who did you kill?"

Pointing a finger at the Admiral, she laughed, "The Admiral said I was on security today. During your speeches, Bastila and Carth, you had snipers pointed at you. I took care of them. Be thankful." She started leave and board the ship. Turning back around, she drew her robe to the side, exposing the left side of her chest, where her heart was. There was a small blaster hole in her white shirt. "You owe me a new shirt."

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Ending notes: Do you think I over-exaggerated Bastila's haughtiness and pride? What do you think of the use of the Force pills?

PS: if you're the first to review, I will read, review and comment on two of your stories. Is that a good incentive? I swearing I'm not desperate for them. Maybe if you give a suggestion for the story, I may incorporate it.

REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2: The Fight Against

A/N: Sorry it took me a little longer than I thought to end up writing this chapter. I wanted to have a duel scene, but I could find no real explanations of any of the combat forms other than those of the lightsaber forms. So, please forgive me but both Landyr and Dacob use unarmed lightsaber forms. Next chapter will begin with the actual plot of the game.

I would like to thank my lovely reviewers:

To Anonymous: you saved me! Sincerely, you did. I cannot believe I missed that. Thank you for catching that.

To MK: I hope you will be more pleased with this chapter as I tried to lighten Bastila. I hope it is not too much so that it contrasts with the character I portrayed in the first chapter. I figured that she would be stressed in the first chapter events because she was nervous about getting under way. I assumed she would be less stressed in this one because she would have been underway and the talking she does get is with Carth, someone she knew already, so she would be more likely to be lighter-hearted with him. I hope this chapter does what I'm saying here. If not, by all means, call me out on it and I will fix it. Thank you so much for your imput. It was accepted readily and I liked being able to use such good feedback.

To DreamALittleBitBiggerDarling : Although I've already given you my thanks over a pm, I'd like to do it publicly. THANK YOU!

To rebelbridgeburner10: Same as above. I also commented on two of your stories but one disappeared. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I hope you put it back up! I really enjoyed reading your stories because I like your stlye! Although, I was not familiar with the topic, you were able to convey it well with your writing! Keep up the good work!

To you that have read the first chapter and not reviewed: THANK YOU FOR READING! I appreciate you for at least giving some attention to my piece whether you read the entire chapter or left after the first sentence.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!

~PlaguedPorcelain

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Chapter 2

It wasn't that she forgot. She couldn't forget. There was a sort of high when she took them; something familiar. There was almost a desire for the day to be over and start again so she would be able to take them. Her body and mind needed these to survive; at least that's what she told herself. She had not reached the point in which she was scarfing them down three, four, five at a time, but she was pretty damn close. Now she debated in taking just one more.

She thought that she probably looked insane. Her curly red hair was stringy about her face, which was pale and covered in a cold sweat. She shivered in pleasure with the thought of taking another one. Unfortunately her rational, sane side was preventing her from reaching into the container and just pouring them down her throat. She had no supervisor to be watching over her in the room. She had a roommate, but they worked separate shifts. He was gone by the time she went to sleep and never returned before she left. He was not there to make sure she did not overdose. And the temptation was strong to do so.

She did it. Her second one. The guilty pleasure slithered down her neck and she smiled with glee. These pills were like battle, she equated. They had the sickly sweet feeling and a rush of adrenaline. That was what felt familiar, the battle feel. Immediately, she regretted swallowing another one. She shoved the container off the desk where she sat, spilling them across the floor. "Damn!" She fell to the floor and started to pick them up, forcing her mouth closed and her hands as far away as they could be.

The door slid open to her horror. "Kasra, are you alright?" Her shift mate stood in the doorway.

"Chaar… It's not… I'm fine," she panicked. Would he tell her superiors about this incident? Surely he saw her in this state of disarray. She did not want his help and was filled with dread as he bent down and began to collect the pills. He could see her face. Surely he could see her desire to drown herself in her addiction that was scattered across the floor.

"Get up," he motioned for her to stand. "Go take a cold shower and come back. I'm going to pick this up and after you cool your desire down, we'll talk." Like a scolded child, she retreated to where she was sent.

_Dacob Chaar_, she thought as she sat underneath the freezing water. The amount of concern this man had for her was unnerving and unwarranted. He had shown her entire ship, pointed out blind spots in each room and had even offered to train with her. It was not that he loved her; he had a wife and four children. And this was not his first tour away from them. When she asked him why he was doing it, he replied nonchalantly with "I owed an old friend of yours. This is atonement, I think." _Atonement, indeed, if you stop me._

She left the shower and dressed, heading back into her room. "Are you okay now?"

"I think so. I'm sorry; I've just had a rough morning." She slid back onto her bed, pulling her legs closer to her body.

"If that's what you call it. How long have you had this problem?" He was perched in the chair near her desk.

"What problem?" Immediately she thought that playing dumb with him would solve nothing. Before he could reply she answered, "A month. I only began taking them two or three months ago."

"So, I get it. Now you realize you have a problem. You have two choices: ignore it or solve it. Let me ask you: what rationale stops you from wanting to continue on this downward spiral?"

"Duty. I was saved by the Jedi; I owe them my life. I should not throw it away unless I am commanded to do so." She put her head against her knees. Why had the Jedi saved her? Who was she to be saved and not someone else in the galaxy? The fact that these questions may never be answered perturbed her. The Jedi were more mysterious to her than the Sith. What were their motives? The motives of the Sith were easy to comprehend: conquer the galaxy, destroy the Jedi, and to spread their teachings. But what were the Jedi's goals? What was their purpose? And in turn, what did she have to do with their purpose?

"We need to get to work. What you need to think positively about is the fact that you've identified your problem and what your motivation is to stop. Come on," he held out a hand, one she accepted. Strapping her blasters to her hip and thigh, she nodded her consent to leave.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Bastila watched her, intrigued. This girl just kept being beat down and was being pushed around. Something was bothering her. Bastila could tell. Her unarmed combat form was weak and sloppy. Two days before she had watched as she had taken on four of their best warriors on the ship and had held her ground and won. But now it was making her nauseous to watch as they kept tossing her to the floor mercilessly because she kept egging them on. Bastila looked over to Carth who stood by her, watching the slaughter happen before them. "Onasi, watch her stances. There! That knee was bent too much and her arm wasn't far enough forward."

He watched as she was pinned to the ground by Eztel Yusan, one of the heavier soldiers. She struggled and kicked with her legs. Carth could hear the man's taunts, "Had enough, princess? Did you realize this is where you belong? Beneath a man?" Carth looked to Bastila who had rolled her eyes and he thought himself, justifying the man, _He's going to be months out in space with mostly men. He can't help but be crude._

They were relieved when Yusan finally relented and let her go. Before she challenged them again, Bastila called down to them from her placing on the platform. "Kasra, why don't you challenge just one of them? I'm sure the crew would love to watch a skilled user of the art of the Echani." She smiled down to Landyr, who grinned at the idea. The men whooped and cheered at the idea. "Just pick the soldier who has the most combative endurance. If they don't prove to be able to withstand the duel, I will indulge you in battle." Bastila leaned up against the railing, preparing for an excellent fight. Landyr's eyes glowed with a passion that had shaken her from her stupor.

"Are you sure she should continue? That gash on her head looks worrying and her mouth is bleeding." Carth was concerned about trauma to her head. Could additional trauma cause more damage? He had thought so.

Bastila did not ease him of his worry with her comment, and he was dubious of her conviction. "She is safer than they are about to be. Surely you've seen the Echani style before."

"Actually I have never seen it practiced, but I've heard stories. Her condition is not suitable for such an aggressive style."

"I wouldn't worry too much. Her style is more fluid than the more aggressive, concrete forms you've heard about. She is a master of the Echani style and has begun mastering a variant form of the Jedi style of Juyo. Instead of a lightsaber, she uses a vibroblade and she is able to use it much more effectively than I because of her passion for battle. She delights in it and so using an applied form of Juyo, she becomes deadly. It was her preferred form during the Mandalorian War." Bastila watched as Kasra's shift mate, Chaar, stepped forward to meet her in battle. Pointing to the young man, she mentioned to Carth, "He is proficient in the hand to hand combat form of Soresu. You can tell. His stance is already in a defensive position. This is going to be good."

"Kasra, where did you learn Echani?" Chaar waited for her to make a quick strike. He paid no attention to the obscene cheering and comments from the other men.

"I'm not sure. Bastila just told me that is the style I used when we sparred together." She attempted to break his balance by pulling his shoulder forward, but received a blow to her elbow, collapsing her extended arm. She spun away from him. She gave him a gleeful smile and backed away.

"Where are you going, Kasra?" He kicked towards her stomach, his attack doing no damage as she turned away from it. There were groans as he missed his target.

"It's a dance, Chaar. Follow the movements, the rhythm." She jumped over his head to catch him off-guard. Unfortunately, he swept a leg backward, aiming for her feet. She hopped over it and began to assault him using her fists again. Each block had circular motion, each attack mirrored a block. It was a dance.

Soon they were engrossed in their combat. Chaar was picking up on her movements and had started to copy them. Just as he began to do so, she switched to Juyo, taking a concrete stance and furiously pounded away at his chest with her hands. Every block of his was swept away with an arm. She employed more kicks as he started to retreat from her. Feeling slightly dizzy after her onslaught as they caught their breath in a decided truce, she reset her form to Echani, feeling as though it would be less damaging to her and to her opponent.

She was surprised Chaar had managed so long. His combat prowess was excellent as he was a quick learner, copying her movements, and had good endurance, which was what she was lacking at the given moment. Wiping some blood away that had trickled down her face, she concluded this would be her last round. If she started to grow faint, she would yield whether she was close to winning or not. It would not hurt her pride any. Had she not been tossed around earlier? _Speaking of which, I have been so involved with the duel that I have not heard them cheer. They must have been cheering the entire time. _

She started to study his posture, realizing his form was open for attacks. His left foot was turned towards his right too much. A swiping kick to the back of his left knee would bring him to his knees and from there she could pin him. Smiling, she launched her attack, tackling him to the ground, grinding her knee harshly into his crotch. He yelped in pain, trying to push her off. "Surrender?"

"Yes," he exclaimed. Sighing as she released the pressure against his crotch, he just laid on the floor. "That was a good one, Kasra."

"Thanks," she replied, helping him to his feet. The roaring of the men was not as prominent in her mind as the smiles Bastila and Carth gave her. She felt a sense of accomplishment and with that feeling she forgot about the pills.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Kasra, you should get some sleep," Carth put a hand on her shoulder, carefully brushing the messy, tangled red locks aside. Her eyes were already half closed. Her night had not been restful, he could tell.

"I can't. If I do, I'll forget today. Today was fun." He had read this in her profile. To him, losing the memories of the day during sleep was ridiculous. But he knew that he did not understand the workings of the mind and did understand that there would be a possibility that she was telling the truth. But he knew what trust had earned him: a broken planet, a lost wife and a hardened heart.

"Write it down. My mother-in-law had trouble remembering things as she aged. She used to write everything down. Write down today. Or record your thoughts on a Datapad so you can view them later." Feeling as if he had eased her slightly, he went to walk away.

She grabbed his left hand, brushing her fingers over his naked ring finger. Making the obvious observation, she commented, "You're not married. But you talk about your mother-in-law as if she's dead and in a way to make it seem that you are still with your wife. Do you just not wear it?"

"They're dead." His reply was blunt and soft. Her hands were warm and comforting about his. _Just like Morgana's_, he thought stupidly, kicking himself mentally.

"How?" Instinctively she had drawn closer to him, caressing his hand absent-mindedly. Her hair brushed against his hand as she brought it to her cheek. The moment was gentle and he felt slight comfort, despite the awkwardness of the touch. She closed her eyes and whispered something softly, something he couldn't make out.

"When Malak blew up Telos."

With her eyes still closed, she told him, "They're not gone. I promise you. Not forever and not now. They live in everyone and everything. They are part of the Force and in being with it, they are part of everything. You can see bits of them in every person you meet. And more importantly, they live in your memories. Such precious memories. Be lucky you have those for it is what fuels their lives. Keep their memories alive and they will never abandon you. Never betray you." She let his hand drop. Turning from him, she could only whisper. "I'm sorry; I've made this about me. This is your problem that I am supposed to be comforting you on yet I just thrust my problems into it, begging for sympathy." Her hands gripped at her elbows in either anger or disappointment, he couldn't tell.

Putting a hand on her back, he turned her back to him. "No. Don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. You were relating to me, making a connection between us. You weren't changing the subject to be about you." With an affirming nod, he paused before saying, "Now, please do me a favor and get some rest before you fall over."

Standing at attention she saluted him and replied, "Yes, sir." She waited for him to take his leave before taking hers. As she settled into her room, she took his advice and found it more therapeutic to write than just record herself on a Datapad. She wrote down the events of the day and as she neared the end she contemplated writing about her conversation with Carth. She decided against it as she thought it was too personal to be shared with anyone who would read her journal. She just wrote: _Had meaningful conversation with Carth. End. _She closed the book, opening up the drawer of her desk to make a place for it.

Her misery caught the glare from the dim light of her lamp. They were seductively lit and subconsciously she had an aching in her mind. It was not time, but her brain screamed for one, making up false pain to get what it wanted. Shoving the journal into the drawer, she quickly closed it and went to the bathroom. She splashed water on her face before undressing for bed. Crawling in, she became fearful, just like every night. What would she forget? What would be gone forever? One thing she knew that would be gone was the feeling of fear each night before bed.

And then she was awoken by alarms and her bunkmate, Trask Ulgo.

* * *

Yay cliff-hanger! Sidenote: that term seems incredibly dangerous. Cliff-hanger... Anyways. As always read and review. In order to help you, here are some recommended questions to answer: (I feel like a teacher...) 1: How was the fight scene? Easy to follow? Stupidly written and I should consider writing it over again, many times? Or was it just okay? 2: Did I do a good job with talking about her addiction? If you think I need to work on it, leave a comment about how you would have written it. 3: Did you like first person or third person better? Or do you think I should do a mixture?

I'd really like being able to apply the ideas that were given to me to make this story better. If you think you can help me, review and I'll see if you're right - because let's face it, I'm human and I make mistakes (like saying the heart is in the right side of the chest) - or if I like your suggestion.

~PlaguedPorcelain


	3. Chapter 3: Running

A/N: So with all the rain from hurrican Isaac flooding the streets and being just completely miserable weather, I elected to stay inside on this Labor Day, not get drenched, and write a much needed chapter of this story. I was really not looking forward to writing this chapter mainly because I hate the beginning because it's all tutorial, but I understand why I need it in my story. Plus, Trask really needs to have some praise for awhile because he did say the Republic. If he hadn't sacrificed himself, Revan would be dead and wouldn't be able to save the galaxy from Malak. Rant about the best ensign ever is completed.

Something to note. In this chapter I did diverge from the cannon plot a tad. But don't worry, the problem I have created will be gone in the beginning of the next chapter. There's some cussing, but it's not that bad really. Oh, and there is a Doctor Who quote from the new episode. So before I go any further: I DO NOT own any of the dialogue that has appeared in Doctor Who or in Knights of the Old Republic or any of the slight variation of the dialogue pieces. I also DO NOT own the wonderful characters that appear in this story as even my OC, Dacob Chaar, is a Republic officer and does count as property of Lucas Arts and Bioware. Maybe I'm handing them too much credit, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Hope you enjoy! Reviewing would make my day as the hurricane rain did not.

~PlaguedPorcelain

* * *

Chapter 3: Running

Trask could hear the commotion from the bridge as Carth communicated his orders to him. The screams coming from his companions were enough to make him sick. He could see some of the battle raging as Carth blasted his way through the enemy. "Ulgo, get Kasra off this ship! Bastila cannot lose her."

"Will do, sir." He ended the conversation and set about moving towards his quarters he shared with the woman. The ship rocked as they received damage. How anyone could still be sleeping with all the commotion was beyond him. Luckily, the commotion had not made its way over to their quarters, elsewise she may have been dead already.

Running through the doors, he made sure to override the system and lock them so that no one could follow him. Fortunately for him there were only a few enemies along the way and many of his companions fell letting him continue on. Prying open the doors to his room, he stumbled in as the ship rocked again, finding Landyr sprawled on the ground, clutching at her head. "Kasra!"

She flipped around and pointed her pistol in his face. "Who are you and why are we getting blown out of the sky?" Straightening up, she tried to cover up her obvious lack of clothing.

"I'm Trask Ulgo and we have to go! Come on!" He ran to the door, pressing his ear against it in order to listen for the Sith barreling down the hallway. The coast was clear, yet she was just as out of it before hand. "Were you listening to me?! We need to get out of here. Grab your stuff. Let's go!"

As the ship rocked again, she braced herself against the desk, grabbing for her pills. She scarfed one down before pointing her gun at him again. "Let's get this straight, Mr. Ulgo. I'm not going anywhere until I know who you are exactly, not just your name, and who the hell are attacking us."

"I'm Trask Ulgo, ensign for the Republic on the ship the Endar Spire. The Sith are attacking us and Bastila needs you to get off this ship." Pointing to the footlocker at the end of her bed, he said, "Some of your stuff is in there. Take everything you will need. We leave as soon as you dress."

Making quick conversation as she drew her shirt over her head and her pants on, she said, "I know Bastila. And because of that, I'm trusting you. Although, I won't say I'll hesitate to gun you down if you betray me."

"Yes, yes. Now hurry up. I don't know how far the Sith have gotten. Let's hope they haven't reached the bridge yet." Seeing her throw items into a bag and sling it over her back, he started to unseal the door. "You ready?" The door slid open. "Come on!"

She started but then ran back inside, shouting about a Datapad and her dog tags. Returning she flashed him a smile and muttered an apology. "The Datapad's my life and the dog tags are for death, ya' know?"

He nodded briskly and motioned for her to be silent. She obeyed and drew her other pistol from its holster on her hip. Now armed with a blaster in each hand she felt safer. She gave a small ironic smile, thinking that she would feel even safer with a grenade to throw or a Jedi whipping around a lightsaber, protecting her. Sighing, she crept closer to this Trask Ulgo. He was wearing the Republic insignia, the same one that was engraved on one of her dog tags. Did she feel safe with him? Better than being alone.

As they passed a utility droid, it exploded as there was a power surge. Startling her even more, a voice came through her comlink. She nearly fell over in fright, but calmed herself as Trask gave her a look. A man she did not know, but had seen before, busily looked around, pressing various buttons on the module in front of him. Seeing that he had managed to make contact with them, he shouted over the sounds of battle, "This is Carth Onasi – the Sith are threatening to overrun our position! We can't hold out long against their firepower! All hands to the bridge!" The transmission cut out and they were left in silence.

As to verify Carth's message, Trask commented morosely, "If he says things are bad, you better believe it." For some reason, it seemed strange to her that Carth was a constant for how bad the situation was. What had he gone through? As she tried to remember him, but pain rushed her senses and she stopped.

She heard blaster fire and the clash of swords. Peering around the corner, she spied two Sith soldiers. They were fighting off one brave Republic soldier, who fell to her displeasure. Crouching, she fired at the two soldiers as Trask charged them with a sword. Soon they were lying dead at their feet, filled with blaster holes.

To Trask's surprise, Landyr kneeled next to their corpses, removing their masks to close their eyes. She muttered something before searching their bodies for useful items. Collecting a small stash of medpacs and grenades, she straightened their clothes and put their masks on and went to the Republic man as well, doing the same thing. Thrusting a medpac into Trask's hand, she said gruffly, "Use this. Your arm is bleeding."

"Why did you just do that?" He was asking more about why she had shown the Sith respect, even though she knew they were trying to kill them.

Her explanation chilled him to the core. "They are like us. Just obeying orders. They have friends and family like us. When it comes down to it, they die just like we do and become empty. Their families deserve our sympathy for we have taken their loved one from them. That is why we owe them respect." She shivered as the kolto from a medpac rushed through her system and elected to start moving forward.

As the next door opened, they felt more firepower hit the ship, sending the two Sith that were in the next room off-balance. She opted to get close to these men, putting her blasters to their hearts in a mercy killing as Trask stayed back, blasting them from afar. Motioning him to help her, they stripped the two of their valuables and positioned them nicely.

They repeated the exercise five more times before stumbling into a corridor in which two figures fought intensely. Not having enough confidence in themselves to assist the Jedi in the lightsaber fight between her and the Dark Jedi, they stood far enough away from the duelists. As the man fell, the Jedi extinguished her lightsaber, beginning to move towards them. A blast from the Sith ship pierced the hull of the Endar Spire immediately killing the Jedi woman. Before they could plunder any items from the Force-users, two more Sith troopers assaulted them.

Screaming over the sound of blasters as they fired upon them, Landyr called out to Trask, "How many are there?! They're popping up like rabbits." Finally they subdued the male troopers and went about their settled duties.

"Take their lightsabers," Trask called over to her as he attended to the troopers.

Reaching for the lightsabers, she singed her hand on the hot, melted metal of the weapons. "Seriously," she muttered. "They aren't useful anymore. The blast must have burned them along with the Jedi and Dark Jedi," she replied so he could hear her.

"This is definitely not our day. Damn, we could have used that." Trask handed her the credits and medpacs he found on the soldiers to put in her backpack. Carefully stowing them so the medpacs could be used later, she pulled out an adrenaline stimulus. She stabbed herself in the leg with it. Sighing as the rush came upon her; she offered another one to Trask, who refused it.

"Just thought you could use some cheering up." She shrugged and put her blasters into their holsters. Drawing her blade, she prepared for Trask to open the door to the bridge. "Ready, Ulgo?"

"Trust me yet, Kasra?" He grinned, punching in the security release.

"That's a maybe, ensign." She launched herself at the first Sith she saw, the beautiful Echani form taking over. Maybe in an effort to stay away from her circling blades or maybe in order to enjoy the form, he stayed back to admire her style and to shoot the farther trooper. There were more explosions bombarded the bridge, killing everyone except the two lone Republic soldiers that had fought from their room. In pent up rage, Landyr threw down her blade and yelled at the Sith ship hovering above them. "Stop firing at me!"

"Let's move quickly," Trask took her by the arm. "Leave the dead the way they are." She sent him a look which looked to him like she was not able to comprehend what he was suggesting. "Bastila's not here. As soon as the Sith realize this, they're going to blast us out of the sky." She ripped her arm away from him, a sick feeling rushed over her. It disgusted her to not be able to say a prayer for them and show them respect. She whispered a prayer to Manda, expressing her sorrow in the fact. Steeling herself against the desire, she raided a lone backpack and took the blaster pistol from it.

As they moved into the next room, Trask told her to wait back and went to investigate the next room over. "Someone's behind here! Damn, another Dark Jedi! I'll try to hold him off, you get to the escape pods!" She didn't move. "Go!" He disappeared behind the door, sealing him off with the bald Sith from her.

She went to the door and pounded on it. "Trask! Don't do this! Please!" She couldn't let him just sacrifice himself for her. "I'm not that important!" Her voice cracked as tears threatened to slip from her eyes. "Damn you!"

"Kasra?" A familiar voice called out to her from the bridge, which they had forgotten to lock the door. Spinning towards the voice, she raised her blaster, audibly crying. "Kasra!"

She lowered her weapon. "Chaar?"

"Why are you yelling at that door?" He sauntered up to her and began to look over her minor wounds, pushing them past the blast door to the starboard side. He figured the wiring, sealing off the door. "Come on. Give me your backpack so I can heal you." Reluctantly she handed it to him.

Responding to his question, she wiped at her eyes. "That idiot Trask sacrificed himself for me." She began to think. "How did you make it out of the engine room? When Trask and I looked at the cameras in the security room outside our quarters, a whole squadron was bearing down upon the doors…"

"Overloading the terminals seemed to do the trick. Caused a nasty power surge. It probably singed all of the droids working on the ship's wiring." Thinking back, there had been that one utility droid.

"Are you alright, though?"

"Well my path was clear as I made my way towards the bridge. Figured you were up to no good," He finished bandaging her arm. "Let's go. It's not that far to the pods." She watched him slip something into his pocket. Reckoning that it was just a medpac or a stim, she didn't bother with it. She hefted her backpack onto her shoulders and followed his lead.

They were dangerous, the pair of them. The battle prowess they had showcased for the crew was nothing compared to a real battle situation. They were allowed to kill and they somewhat enjoyed doing so. Fighting their way through many a Sith, they gained injuries but nothing awful enough to worry about. It was when Landyr took blaster fire to her thigh that they stopped to pump her system with kolto from the medpac.

"Ah," she hissed as he pressed against her leg. "Shit, that hurts."

"Yeah?" he set his mouth in a smug line.

"Yeah, you bastard, it does." She yelped as he prodded it with a cleansing cloth.

"Maybe I draw sick satisfaction from making you shriek and moan."

Raising her eyebrows at the innuendo, she bit back another sigh of pain before saying, "Wanna buy me dinner first, big boy?"

He chuckled and stuck the needle of the kolto shot into her. "It was just a bit of flirting to keep you cheerful. It worked." He stood back so she had some room to stand up and stretch her leg a bit. She put pressure on it. It was usable, not ideal. She had a slight limp and would be slowed down in fighting.

As they moved to the door, Carth's voice came onto her comlink again. "This is Carth. I've been tracking your position through the Endar Spire's life support systems. Bastila's escape pod has been away for almost twenty minutes. You two are the last surviving crew members of the Endar Spire! I can't wait for you much longer; you have to get to the pods! Be careful, though. There is a whole squadron of Sith Troopers on the other side of that door!" The comlink fizzled and Carth was lost.

"Okay now what? I can't fight very well and you can't fight them alone."

"Overload the terminal?" He grinned. "It worked the first time."

"Go for it." She leaned against the wall and watched him work. "Hurry, bastard. They'll blow this ship sky high any second." He moved effortlessly, hacking away at the keys, trying to override the system.

"Shut up! I'm doing the best I can!" He clenched his fists in victory. "I'm in. Overloading the terminal…now!" The entire electric system flickered but there were no satisfying screams of fried Sith. "What?! No!"

"What happened?" she asked concerned.

"There's not enough power. It just sparked a bit. What's your back up plan?" He left the terminal and came over to her, hoping the Sith had no idea that they were on the other side of the door.

"Why was it my job to come up with a plan B?" The question was not answered as they looked around. There was a broken droid in the corner. "Droid!" She dropped her backpack onto the table in the middle of the room. Digging through it, she looked for repair parts. "I don't have enough to repair it. Um… check that footlocker." She pointed to the one behind them.

"There are seven in here. Is that enough?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, tossing her three repair parts to him. He set able to repair the droid. Soon the security droid was whirring with life.

"I've set it on patrol." Checking his blaster, he stood by the door, readying to gun down some of the Sith as the droid went through the door. Landyr shifted out of range as the door slid open. There was about a minute of blaster fire and all of the Sith lay dead. Coming over to assist her, they half-ran, half-stumbled into the escape pod room.

"Carth!" Dacob exclaimed as he clapped him on the back. "I was hoping you'd still be alive and still here… Glad you're the one flying the pod."

"Yes, yes. There's no reason for us to stick around here and get shot by the Sith!" He set the pod on export and helped Landyr into the pod and had Dacob close the hatch behind them. "Ready?"

He didn't wait for their answer and blasted them away from the ship. "We have about five minutes to prepare for landing… It should be enough time –" The Endar Spire exploded behind them and they were propelled faster towards the planet. "Make that less than three!"

"Strap everything down!" Landyr shouted as she situated her bag and the blade into an empty seat and tightened her harness. She watched as Dacob did the same for himself and Carth as Carth was too preoccupied with setting coordinates. "How much time?"

"Well judging the rate that we're speeding through the atmosphere, I give it about now," Dacob shouted as he looked at the rapidly approaching city. A loud hissing noise prevented her from hearing him.

"What?!"

"NOW!" and then it was dark.

* * *

End Notes: So, how about that little plot twist? Did it work? Did I portray Trask well? Should I continue with heavy original dialogue and little to no cannon dialogue? Or would you like to see a little bit more of what your favorite characters say in the game? Any suggestions at all? Critiques? Stupid little mistakes that I made that you can fix by telling me in a review? If so, do so.

The more you review, the faster Landyr's leg heals and the faster she's off running through the world of KOTOR. Unless you're a sadist and enjoy having her leg be wounded and you like that, review. I'm not forcing those of you who enjoy her suffering to help her get better. But even if you do enjoy that, you still might want to as she could get into more trouble where the possibility of injuring herself increases.

So with that odd review request I leave you.

REVIEW!

~PlaguedPorcelain


	4. Chapter 4: Intensive Care

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Bioware and Lucas Arts own it all! I don't want to be sued. Don't tell them, though: I'm taking credit for Landyr and Dacob. Shhhhhh.

A/N: Bet you didn't think I would upload another chapter this soon! Ha I fooled you! Well. I confess this was a form of procrastination. Ah, the school life.

This chapter, to some of y'all dismay, does not feature my Revan. Yes, she's still healing. So, we follow around Dacob Chaar and Carth Onasi doing some manly things. Well not really. This was just a filler chapter to prepare for the bulk of Taris. It's so daunting... ugh.

Response to Reviews:

MK: If you are worried about being overly critical, I say be. Actually if you are overly critical, it's better. You can help me. Basically you can become my sidekick with your reviews, which are fantastic the way they are. I agree with you about combat scenes. I loathe them, but I do understand the need to have a good one once and awhile, and well, my was boring and not exactly up to par. But putting that aside, I will try to make them better. In response to your addiction question, you hit it spot on! We'll hear from a certain doctor next chapter who'll explain that a little better. I quite liked being able to use the first-person as introductory to my characters, but I prefer 3rd person and I feel that does come out in my writing. In regards to journalism, my mother was also a journalist and had taught be to do that wonderful rule. Except, I tend not to use it as I am a bit of a rambler. I like details, but unfortunately I focus on some of the less important ones. But hopefully by writing and having critiques, I shall become better at reeling in my mind and the details that spew from it.

Your review on ch 3: Oh, yes. I love Trask. Too bad he died. I like that you liked my OC being in the pod with them and all. But unfortunately, he doesn't last very long. I'm sorry if you particularly liked him. I feel terrible now. I should have done to him what you're about to read. And in regards to Taris: OH MY GOODNESS. It just has to take up a good chunk of the plot. And it is not too interesting. I will be straying from some plot aspects because exploring them all would take a good ten chapters of about 3,000 words. And I am sooo glad you enjoy the story. Keep at being awesome!

~PlaguedPorcelain

* * *

Chapter 4

Dacob, the stronger of the two men, cradled Landyr's head gently as they scrambled away from the wreckage. They had not prepared for the landing as well as they could. She had been leaning too far forward, yelling to him. He was still trying to secure his gun in its holster as they impacted the city. As they came to a screeching halt, her head had snapped back and connected with the corner of her headrest. The shrieking of the metal against the street had left him and Carth somewhat deaf, just as if a bomb had gone off near them. And he had lost his blaster. What a perfect day it was turning out to be.

Luckily for them, they had crashed down just after dawn, the grey cloud covering gave them anonymous identities, moving through the crowds of people going to work in the early hours of the morn. Hiding amidst the running bodies they were able to sneak into an apartment complex. Was it fate again that allowed them to stumble into a complex that had a vacant apartment? Whether it was or not was up to the Gods, because they only cared about being able to stay there. After paying the small price of 500 credits for the apartment for the next two month, they hurriedly went to their hideout.

They only had so much time. They needed to stop the blood seeping from her head and get her to a doctor. It would be more beneficial for them though to be able to just treat it themselves, but the cut seemed too deep. Carth did not want to take any risks, given her history with head injuries. After bandaging her head and mostly stopping the bleeding, Carth let Dacob venture to the local Doctor's after reviewing a map of the city.

After travelling the city block to the medical facility, passing the crowds and Sith troopers as they surveyed the crashed escape pod, Dacob was relieved to find the good doctor in shop. Rushing over to the medical table, not bothering to listen to the assistance, he demanded attention. "My wife is hurt! Please, she needs medicine!"

The doctor, an elderly man, turned from his experiments on what appeared to be kolto. "Son, there's no need to shout." He removed his old gloves, opting for new ones. As soon as he had them, he began to check her status. "What is the problem?"

"She hit her head on something. I don't know what. But, when I came home…" he stammered as the man lifted her head slowly to look at the wound.

"She must have had a ship fall on her… Oh." He turned back to Dacob. "What's your name, young man?"

"Dac Chaar. And my wife is Lanni. We were staying with her family here on Taris for a holiday and then the Sith took over." He offered the best lie he could. He didn't travel often with his wife to stay with her family, but knew relatively what such travels consisted of. He knew how to make it believable.

Yet, this doctor's eyes sparkled with understanding, not of his pathetic story, but he was sympathizing with him. "She was hurt when the Republic pod crashed, no?"

"Yes, she was." He admitted shyly.

"I will treat her free of charge then. Well, under one condition." He sighed as he injected a heavy dose of kolto into her arm. "I need you to deliver a highly prized medicine to the Lavin estate. Mrs. Lavin has pneumonia and needs this respiratory relief medicine." He handed the shot to Dacob before continuing. "I shall put your _wife_ in a kolto tank and when you come back, she should be ready to be cared for at her family's place. Good travels, Dac Chaar."

Not really wanting to run an errand for the man, it was a small price to pay for a treatment they did not have the money for. Having spent most of it on supplies and the rent, they had a little over 230 credits left in their pockets. The Republic couldn't really pay their soldiers while they thought them dead or while they were stranded on a planet occupied by the Sith.

Which was something he had a huge problem with. None of the citizens really minded that they were being quarantined and watched like hawks. He was ready to lose his mind after seeing all of the troopers walk around. Maybe it was just his trigger finger, but he would rather they be lying dead in the streets.

He spent the next hour at the Lavin estate, waiting for clearance or being interrogated. Luckily for him he had had time to perfect his husband story and was much more believable. He had explained it to at least twelve different men who were responsible for Lavin's security. How much money did they have in order to pay the hiring price of some of the mercenaries they had?

After being body searched too many times for his comfort and his brain aching from the same questions he had been asked over and over again, he began the long walk back to the medical center. Groaning at the idea of having to carry Landyr back to their new apartment, he elected to take the long path, going through the heart of the streets instead of the back ones he had taken beforehand to get to the Lavin estate.

"Officer, there!" Turning as he heard the words, he spied a woman and a Sith trooper off a little ways away with the woman pointing at him. Shit, he had seen her this morning.

Bolting, he ran from the scene with the Sith chasing after him and calling out orders. He was thankful that Landyr had exercised him while they were on the Endar Spire. If she hadn't, he would be short of breath. As soon as he thought he may be safe, he had turned down an alley with a dead end. _Great!_ Any of the other weapons they had in their inventory that would be helpful in this situation were tucked away in a footlocker only Carth could access. Of course the war veteran had thought that carrying blasters would make them look suspicious. But they might have been bloody helpful as four Sith soldiers cautiously walked towards him with their rifles raised and pointing at him.

"Okay boys, I give," Dacob raised his hands in the air, surrendering. "Go ahead. Shoot me, just like you shot my ship out of the sky."

"Shut up!" Came a feminine voice. "Hands over your head!"

"Yes, milady. Sorry about calling you a boy and whatnot." He stayed put as they advanced on him, roughly grabbing his arms and handcuffing him.

"You're under arrest for treason."

"Fantastic."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

After Dacob had been gone with Landyr for over three hours, Carth had begun to worry. Either there had been a medical complication or even worse they had been found out. But if that was the case, why was he not dead or behind a prison cell's forcefield? Going to the weapons' footlocker, he took out the smallest blaster, the one he would be able to hide in his coat pocket. Making sure the room looked clean and un-Republic, he left, hurrying to doctor's.

As he arrived, he slowed his pace and tried to think of something he could say. Who knew what Dacob had told the man? As the doctor spotted him, he nodded his greeting and said, "There was a red-headed woman brought her recently. I'm her husband."

Judging by the doctor's raised eyebrows, Dacob had used the husband card. _Shit. _"Can I see her," still trying to play it up.

"Are you a Sith sympathizer?" was the blatant question that was whispered from the man's mouth.

"No," he confirmed as he moved closer to murmur. "My name is Carth Onasi. I'm a Lieutenant for the Republic. That woman in there is one of my troops." He had made a risky move, telling this man. In fact, he did not know why he had. He was the distruster. That was his M.O. Yet he basically just told him everything.

"Come with me." He looked over his shoulder, passed Carth to his assistance who was busily working on a droid. Deducing that it was safe to enter his back room, he pressed in the code and ushered Carth quickly inside.

In addition to Landyr's tank, several of the other kolto tanks were filled with Republic officers. "My men… are they? Are they dead?"

"Yes, or nearly so," was the faint verdict.

"And her?"

"No." He was relieved to hear the doctor say so, yet he felt guilty about the other troops. Why were they not able to live when he had been through such a terrible landing?

"Is she better?"

"Well. That's relative. She is better than she was after your crash. Her wound is healed, yet there was already some brain damage…"

"Yeah, she has a hard time remembering events from prior days. She had been taking medicine for delusions and pain from a previous injury and the memory loss was just a side effect. At least, that is what her file said." Carth ran a hand through his hair. What was really going on here? "Where is the man that brought her?"

"I sent him on an errand to make up for her treatment. Was he an officer?"

"Yes."

"Ah, well…" The doctor looked terrified of Carth, who narrowed his eyes. "I've been told that he has been arrested, for treason."

"Damnit," he slammed his hands onto the table startling the man. "Since you were so keen to make a bargain with one of my men, how about I make one with you? You treat both of us, me and the woman, for a reduced charge whenever we need it. You threw the life of a very good soldier away. I find this request to be a small atonement for that." Taking some credits from his pocket, he put them on the table in front of the doctor. "This is for caring for my other soldiers."

Going over to the kolto tank that held Landyr, he drained it and picked her up, dressing her in a robe. "What is your name?"

"Zelka Forn."

As he left the back room, Carth called over his shoulder, "It'll be helpful when I tell her of the death of our friend." Walking past the assistant, he made his way idly down the street to their apartment complex. As soon as they were in the room, Carth set her down on the only available bed. He boiled some water for tea and sat down, preparing himself for a lot of thinking.

He was disturbed once as he heard her start talking in her restless sleep. "No. No! Please…ugh. Trask… don't." He found it slightly comforting that her subconscious had remembered the Battle on the Endar Spire. And then they changed. "Master…Kreia, please. Don't make him touch me!" she shrieked. "No, please. It's not… not … the Jedi way."

As her dream got more violent, she started thrashing about. Carth came to her side, steadying her and saving her from her own dreams. He did not feel as if her head should be whipping around in nightmarish reaction given her recent wound. "It's okay," he calmed. "It's alright. I'm here, Landyr."

"My name!" she whispered. "My name… Revan! No. Don't! Revan! Please. Manda. Manda. Save me." Though perturbed and confused by her dreams, he stayed by her side until she settled down again. Returning to the chair meant he had to return to thinking about the lives of his soldiers. Instead, he lay down next to her in attempt to feel comfort from her. She was his last surviving crew member and he would make sure she stayed that way. Who knew if Bastila was still alive? He prayed she was. But he knew that Landyr was and when it came down to it, he needed motivation. And she gave him that. Her survival was his goal, though second to finding Bastila. It was still important to him though. She had become important to him the minute she was signed onto the crew.

It had to be fate. Why else would she still be alive? There was something he didn't quite understand and distrusted, yet he felt comfortable knowing this fact. Maybe it was the soft lulling of her eased breathing beckoning him asleep after a very long, very stressing day. Or maybe he was just starting to go mad. Yes, that's it. It was madness.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Awaking, he found her unmoved. Rising, he yawned and made sure to check her head wound before making a breakfast of toast and tea. Today was a day of scouting and inventory. He had acquired a new jacket, a bright orange one. It was better he stay away from the Republic uniform he had worn escaping the crash. And the plain clothes he had found in the garbage next to their complex did not really fit him. This outfit, though, given to him by the landlord who was sympathetic to their cause, also had a pair of black pants. His wife had even given Landyr a nice pair of black shorts, a white tee and a black leather jacket. The couple had said it would be getting cold soon and they would need the warmth from the jackets.

Finishing slipping on his boots, he straightened the disgustingly colored jacket, preparing to go scout. He felt as if she was safe enough to leave. Making sure the windows and the footlocker were locked before he exited, he finished by securing the door. _Might as well find out what happened to Chaar_, he thought to himself and set about his tasks.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

After a long day, he returned to her sleeping form. _It has been two days. How long is she going to be out? Well, we can't look for Bastila until she's able-bodied. Damn, if only Chaar hadn't been shouting at her._

_ If only I had not allowed them to go alone to the medical center. _

* * *

Ending Notes: Those who were beginning to love Dacob, do you feel crushed now that I have taken him from you? On other notes, do you like having questions to answer? Does it help write reviews?

Oh! I'll start this again. If you review first for this chapter, I'll either review one of your stories OR I will consider doing a co-write on one chapter. What say you?

REVIEW my lovelies! - I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West.

~PlaguedPorcelain


	5. Chapter 5: Lament and Memories

A/N: Soo sorry it took me forever to write another chapter. There has just been too much stuff going on with Homecoming and work and school. I decided it would be best to write this at 12:00 in the morning so please excuse the slight grammatical errors or spelling errors. But please, correct me, though. It's like leaving stains on your laundry and not knowing that they are there. Help me fight the stains of writing!

Second Taris chapter! and we are really no farther into it than when we started, because I am a terrible person and only wrote about one day. Stupid me.

Reviews:

MK: Arrgh! You're soooo helpful and kind! I do agree with you. Reading my stuff outloud is easier for me to catch mistakes and the lot. And Jolee's stuff will definitely make it in.

READ AND REVIEW!

~PlaguedPorcelain

* * *

Chapter 5

When she awoke a week later, there had been chaos for the first ten minutes. She screamed and yelled and fought and kicked, finally pinning Carth to the ground. She had forced him to sit on the edge of the bed, a butter knife her weapon of choice. She had interrogated him with her usual questions: 'Who am I?', 'Who are you?', 'Where are we?', 'What are we here to do?' He had answered them plain and simple. And it was her who had finally asked about Bastila.

He had said he knew nothing of her. He hadn't even gotten information when he was out scouting. She had relaxed although the news was stressful. She felt as if she would be more comfortable telling him about her dream relaxed than she would be with a knife at his neck. Settling down next to him on the bed, she whispered. "I saw what happened to Revan in a dream. Bastila stormed his ship. Just as the battle was going his way, Malak blasted his ship. Bastila took him from the ship."

"It was just a dream. He's dead. Why would she take him?" That was a rhetorical question. "Your mind is playing tricks on you."

Furious that he didn't believe her, she shouted, "But it was so vivid! Like a memory." Dying down, she whispered, "Though I do not know why I would have the memory or why I even remembered it?" Thinking harder, she looked at him, frightened yet ecstatic. "I remember something else too! I remember Trask!"

"You remember Ulgo? But you did not remember me or who you are or where we are? That is strange." Carth got up, feeling he was safe; he fetched a glass of water. When he came back, she was moaning with her hands about her head. "Are you okay?"

"No!" In her mind's eye, she saw flashes of Revan and Bastila's battle again. The masked face of Revan screeched one word: _Malak!_ Over and over again she was subject to torture as the hallucinations bombarded her mind and brought pain along with them. "Get me my pills, please!"

Carth dug through her bag, emptying it out on the bed when his hand did not close around a medicine container. "Where is it?" he asked in uneasiness. "I cannot find them! Where are they?"

"Bag!" was the only word her restless and painful mind would allow her to scream out to him. The dream was back, full force. She saw visions of Revan and Bastila speaking, the voice of Revan sounding oddly feminine. Malak laughed in the forefront of her mind, his own voice distorted by his new jaw. And then the dream swirled, changing. Malak was normal, his human jaw still attached. He was touching her, a gentle hand caressed her cheek before moving lower to her shoulder. She welcomed his touch. And then she was shaken violently.

"Landyr! Snap out of it!" Then Carth's face materialized in front of her, worried and confused.

Pushing him off her, she regained her composure. "I'm fine now. Did you find them though?" She could not ignore the painful hallucinations anymore.

"They're not in there. I can't find them. They may have fallen out of the bag in the crash… Should we go to the med center?" He looked at her face. All the blood seemed to have drained from it over the news.

Covering her face with a hand, she thought. It was painful, trying to remember where she had the recipe. Malak kept haunting her with his soft tracings. "Datapad. Get my Datapad. I need it." When it was too painful to remember, she stopped. Taking the Datapad from him, she searched through it for the recipe.

Standing, she asked him, "Do you want to come with me to the med center or not?"

"I'll come."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

When they finally arrived at Zelka's medical center, Carth had a bad taste in his mouth. He did not particularly like this doctor. "Hello," the old man greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"I need these ingredients to make a pill. Can you do it?"

He took a look at the Datapad she offered him. Shaking his head, he told her, "No, I don't have all of the materials because of the quarantine. But I have something similar that would have the same effect as described here." He put the recipe down and began to search through his inventory of supplies.

Carth realized that he would not be able to tell her about Chaar. She didn't seem to remember him and she had become too absorbed in her task. He looked over to the assistant who seemed to be muttering to himself. Carth just felt uneasy in this place, never sure if he should look over his shoulder or not and he often found himself doing so.

"Here," he passed her a case of leaves and some paper. "This is a medical herb you smoke. It will relieve you of your hallucinations and headaches. It still causes slight memory loss, but it is not as powerful as these pills you were using. Is this good?"

"Will it be potent enough?"

"It is fairly strong. But the effects on your memory are not. So I would say this is an even better product than what you had before." Zelka wrung his hands nervously, glancing between the two Republic officers, earning a glare from Carth.

"I'll take it then. How much?" She pulled out some credits.

"2000 for the bushel."

"Shit. That's a lot. But I need it. How long will the bushel last?"

"A year."

"Okay, I'll buy it." She counted her credits. "Damn, only 1,170. Carth?"

"That's all we have."

"We're poor? You're like the Lieutenant of the…" he clamped a hand over her mouth. "Not here, stupid," he chided.

Prying his hand off, she handed Zelka a thousand credits. "This is a down payment. I'll pay you back in two days or I'll work for you."

"Agreed." And they left.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Back at the apartment, she pulled out a leaf and rolled it in the paper, securing it. "Now all I need is a light. Carth?"

"I've never smoked a day in my life." He did not look up from the holographic newspaper he was reading.

"Cantina, it is then."

She started to leave. "Wait. Why can't we just buy a lighter? Kebla Yurt is just across the street. We don't have to go to the cantina."

"Well, one: I want to. Two: someone will have a light. Three: I'm going to make us some money. But I do need to stop by Kebla's shop."

"For what?"

"You'll see."

What she bought was a short strapless olive green dress. It was tight in fit and looked appropriate for a cantina. "Carth, don't look at me with lust in your eyes!"

"I- I… no, I wasn't…" he managed to get out, flustered.

"I know. Just wanted to have a bit of fun. Let's go!"

When the night was done, she had played twenty-three pazaak games, sang five songs, and danced with many men, while he had just drank and watched from the bar. She was a good singer and an even better dancer, he thought. Maybe she was a performer before a mercenary. Or maybe it was just talents she had picked up in order to strengthen a disguise or something.

"Carth, I made 2,300 tonight! And I have a party to go to in a bit."

He raised his eye brows. It was 4 in the morning. "A party?" He was too tired for more dancing and drinking and singing.

"A Sith party."

"No. You are not going."

"Make me stay." She stared defiantly at him, like a child. And right now, she was making him feel very old indeed. "You're not my father."

"But I am your commanding officer. Going to a Sith party, it's dangerous. Are you crazy? What if they know who you are? What then?"

"Come with me if you frightened that I'll be killed."

Losing his temper with her, he grabbed her by the elbows, shaking her slightly. "It's not that! Dacob Chaar, your friend, was taken by the Sith. Do you even remember him? He saved you from the crash and he's gone now because of you!"

Offended, she stepped away from him. She put her back to him and spoke quietly. "I remember him. The night you laid next to me, I heard you whisper things to me that seeped into my dream space. Do not think I do not feel guilty about this."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it. I'm just so…. I don't want to lose you too."

"I know." She grabbed his coat. She put it on and stopped at the door. "I'll have to return this."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

As she stepped into the growing cold of the early morning, she let the brisk air do what it does best: clear her mind. Since she had stopped taking the pills, her mind was exploding with memories. She could count the many times her and Chaar had a good laugh and she could replay every word of her and Carth's conversation about his wife. Taking out one of her hand-made smokes, she lit it up with a lighter she had won off an old man in the cantina, playing pazaak.

Taking a draw on it, she was filled with a cool, relieving feeling as the drug rushed her system. She no longer felt the burning desire of withdraw coursing through her veins. Turning a corner, she walked to the apartment complex where the party was being held. Drawing the coat around her for comfort, the overwhelming smell of him attack her senses and she wished that he could have been there right next to her for suddenly she felt so small, vulnerable and alone.

"Landyr!" a man's voice called out to her. She looked up to see one of the young Sith officers who had hired her to sing for their party. "Here's the money," he slurred drunkenly.

Pocketing the six hundred credits, she smiled and walked with him down to the apartment. The music was slow and sultry for most of the partying was over. They were too drunk to be jumping around to a fast beat. Keeping his coat on, she crossed to where the band was. Nodding to them, she took up the microphone.

None of the Sith were paying any attention to her, more focused on the girls in their laps or the ones they were slow dancing with. As the music began to play, she could only think about Dacob and Carth, the ones she had failed.

_They say the skies of Korriban are burning  
Those mighty cedars bleeding in the heat  
They're showing pictures on the HoloNet  
Women and children dying in the street  
And we're still at it in our own place  
Still trying to reach the future through the past  
Still trying to carve tomorrow from a tombstone..._

_But Hey! Don't listen to me! This wasn't meant to be no sad song ._  
_We've heard too much of that before_  
_Right now I only want to be here with you_  
_'Till the morning dew comes falling_

_And I wanna take you to the island  
Trace your footprints in the sand  
And in the evening when the sun goes down  
We'll make love to the sound of the ocean_

_They're raising banners over by the markets_  
_Whitewashing slogans on the shipyard walls_  
_Witchdoctors praying for a mighty showdown_  
_No way our holy flag is gonna' fall_  
_Up here we sacrifice our children_  
_To feed the worn-out dreams of yesterday_  
_And teach them dying will lead us into glory..._

_But Hey! Don't listen to me! 'cos this wasn't meant to be no sad song ._  
_I've sung too much of that before_  
_Right now I only want to be here with you_  
_Till the morning dew comes falling I wanna take you to the island_  
_And trace your footprints in the sand_  
_And in the evening when there's no one around_  
_We'll make love to the sound of the ocean_

Most of the Sith were asleep now, her soothing voice completely lulling them. Yet she continued as a lament for Dacob, her companion, her friend.

_Now I know us plain folks don't see all the story  
And I know this peace and love's just copping out  
And I guess these young boys dying in the ditches  
Is just what being free is all about  
And how this twisted wreckage down on Telos  
Will bring us all together in the end  
And we'll go marching down the road to freedom...  
Freedom...  
Freedom_

Immediately a memory of her mother rushed her mind, leaving her broken and solemn. She had a bad taste in her mouth and the pain tore at her heart, threatening for tears to form in her eyes.

She gave a nod to the Bith band and they left. Making sure the Sith were all passed out or sleeping, she crept over to the corner of the room where she spied two Sith uniforms. Gathering them in her arms, she quickly left and wove her way through the streets back to their apartment.

As the door slid open, she caught sight of Carth sleeping restlessly on the single bed. She put the suits away in the foot locker and went to the kitchenette, pouring herself some water. She heard him moan and the bed creek as he got up. "Landyr?" He could see her tears from where he stood. With the darkened room and the only light coming in was the one from the lamppost outside the window, it made her appear sadder.

When she did not speak, he pressed again. "What's wrong?"

"Did your mother want you?" The question hung in the air, unanswered. She clarified a little bit. "Did she want you to be a Republic officer, or did she beg and plead for you to stay in her arms?"

"She never really wanted me to go, but understood that I had to do this… Why?"

She turned to face him, tears falling silently. Landyr cradled herself, grasping softly at the back of her elbows. "I was left on the streets of a city on Deralia. She cared not for who I was but only for a drug. Is that not what I've succumb to? I feel the rush of the drug inside my veins, the pleasure in my brain. I cannot help but think: if I had never had my injury, having to take these drugs, Dacob would still be alive, Bastila may have never left Coruscant and we wouldn't be here. Remember when you said you had a bad feeling about my coming last minute onto the ship? Something is a work here. I caused our attack. I caused Dacob's death. And I caused us to be here."

Carth studied her, finding the immense sorrow in her eyes. Yes, he had been hard on her, but was this the product of that. Or was it just something she had concluded herself? "Hey, sweetheart. You cannot blame yourself. It really isn't your fault. It is just happenstance. Come here." He pulled her by the lapels of his jacket, embracing her in a warm hug against his naked chest.

She breathed in his scent, becoming calm. Her tears stopped flowing. "My mother is dead. I killed her. I granted myself freedom."

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the length of this chapter! Too much dialogue... Now you know what Dacob put in his pocket on the Endar Spire. It was the pills! Basically now, she smokes when the pain comes, but it doesn't hurt her memories as much. She is starting to remember things, just like in the game. Yeah, progress! So some questions: How did you like this chapter? Too much talking? Is Carth being to hard on her? Do you miss some of the cannon dialogue? (btw: many of Carth's conversations with Revan like the ones about Saul and etc. will come later. I do not find it appropriate to use it just yet.) Did you like the song? Was it stupid? Will you hate me if I take a different turn in the next chapter and change some cannon around, shortening the amount of time spent on Taris? Or will you love me because you hate Taris soooo much?

REVIEW!

PS: song is by paul brady, though I changed it up a bit to fit Star Wars.


	6. Chapter 6: Distrust and Dishonor

Disclaimer: Everything that is Lucas Arts belongs to Lucas Arts. The other things have no official owners. Their imaginary owner is me. Lucas Arts don't sue me for the excessive use of your original dialogue from KOTOR. Thank you.

A/N: So. Here we are again dear readers, an update! Fantastic, you say? Well, thank you. This chapter has a classic Carth/ Revan conversation, straight from the game with a little lead into. From there, I changed the story of the Taris plot as you know it. Hopefully you like the change. BTW: if you haven't noticed yet, my Revan is of Mandalorian descent. The Jedi's mind eraser and programmer stuff changed it to Deralia. She knows Mando'a and several Mandalorian fighting techniques. Mando'a is featured in this chapter!

Here is the website I get my Mando'a from: starwars. wikia wiki/ Mando'a (undo the spaces!)

READ AND REVIEW AND ENJOY!

~PlaguedPorcelain

* * *

Chapter 6: Distrust and Dishonor

They had barely spoken to one another for the last three days, going about business as usual. He would scout for information; she would earn the money. The silence between them didn't seem to bother her, she actually enjoyed it. All of Carth's emotions were on his sleeve: the fear, the doubt, distrust, anger, revenge. Whenever he said anything, they were evident. As a rule of thumb, she kept to herself when others tended to be like he was. She was content in denying him the chance to understand how she really felt about the situation: the same way he did. How were they supposed to work together when they distrusted each other so?

In the distant rays of dawn, she stood out on their balcony, casually smoking. She had regained much of her memory. She remembered her childhood and her recruitment for the Endar Spire, but the time between that remained locked. She really didn't care to know as she had all she really needed: her background and recent events.

He watched her smoke in the early morning, not wanting to spoil any mood she had because it was becoming surprisingly obvious that she really did not enjoy his company. She ate when he offered it and told him when she was going to and from the apartment, only sparing a few words. She was almost always asleep every morning when he got up and never there when he went to bed. During the few moments a day they saw each other, she'd hand him a wad of credits to bribe people with and then would leave.

The reason they weren't talking was because of the face he had made when she told him that she had killed her mother. He was appalled and disgusted as a parent. He knew that her mother did not deserve the fate she was handed and that she was a bad child for even thinking about murdering her. But another side of him saw her story. Her mother had been an addict and had abused her, forcing her to take the drug too. In the lower class culture they had lived in, she could not escape the suffering any other way. Yet, he just could not understand senseless murder.

Working up the courage, he slid the door back, speaking softly to her. "Landyr, come here please." Again he felt ages older than her. She put out her smoke; she walked over to him with her eyes dilated and bloodshot.

She huffed a sigh, pushing the aroma of the sweet-smelling drug towards him. "Yeah, Carth?"

"I want to talk."

"About what?" He led her back indoors and crossed to the chairs. He pointed for her to sit and took a chair himself.

"This. This ridiculousness we seem to have fallen into." He gestured softly about him. He sighed and leaned on one hand.

"You want to talk about these issues you seem to have with me?"

Sighing again, he ran a hand through his hair. "I knew you wouldn't understand where I was coming from. Let me try to explain. You're probably one of the most skilled women I've ever met. You've saved my butt more than once and I'm lucky you're here to help me, no question. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching you or being wary. I'm just not built that way. Period."

"And what exactly are you watching me for?" She played with her hair that hung about her shoulders. She was focusing on it and not on him in an effort to control her temper. It angered her greatly that he did not trust her and that he did not approve of many of her actions. She was just doing what she thought was best. They needed money, no question, and she was the one to get it.

He studied her closely. He could tell she was getting angry. Her cheeks were becoming rosier and she was breathing more heavily through her nose. "I don't know that yet. Like I've said before, it's probably nothing. But I've been betrayed before by people and I… well, it won't happen again that's all."

Her head snapped up at his words, her eyes narrowing with anger. That had set her off. Standing she, pointed as she bellowed, "So you want some guarantee that I won't betray you?!"

"I don't know that you'll betray me. But there are no guarantees… not for you, not for me. You don't have to take it personally." He joined her, following close behind her.

"Don't tell me not to take it personally, you hairless Wookiee!" She jabbed at him, pressing hard against his chest.

He pushed her away. "Hairless Wookiee? Alright, sister, just… just… just calm down before your head explodes!"

She pushed him back. "Don't tell me to calm down, you ignorant bantha!"

He grabbed ahold of her, grasping her wrists harshly. Pulling her against him, he growled angrily, "Is that your idea of an insult? Come on, sister, take your best shot."

"Gamorrean pig-man!"

He laughed, suddenly finding humor, which outweighed his frustration with her. "Oh, ouch. I think you hurt my man feelings with that one."

He let her go. As she embarrassedly rubbed her wrists, she murmured, "Well, you had it coming."

"I guess I did. Feel better now?"

"Maybe a little."

"Good. Then maybe we can talk reasonably about this," he gestured back to the chairs as if they were the only place for civilized conversation. "All I've been trying to say is that this isn't personal. If you were smart, you wouldn't trust anyone, either… not me, not Bastila, and especially not yourself."

Twirling her hair in sardonic apprehension, she chided, "Ahhh, so you don't trust yourself, is that it?"

"I don't need to be analyzed, thanks. Can we just drop it?"

Glancing up, she nonchalantly said, "So leave. Be on your own. It's obviously what you want."

It was his turn to shoot up out of his chair. Gripping the sides of the chair and leaning dangerously close to her face, he growled, "It's not what I want! I have a duty and I intend to see it through. The galaxy's in danger and I want to save it…that's what I want! Why is whether or not I trust you or anyone so damned important to you? Why… do you even care?"

"Because we're a team. Because I trust you."

Closing his eyes in comprehension, he waved her away. "We don't have time for this, so can we please just… drop it. For now? Can we pick it up later if you really must; I just wanted to get that off my chest."

"You'll trust me one day, Carth Onasi." She smiled sweetly at him. "You'll have to."

"Whatever you say, beautiful."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Carth," she whined. "I'm hungry!"

"Go eat something then." He was studying the maps of the Upper, Middle, and Lower Cities. He had left the Undercity map untouched. "I'm busy."

He did not even realize she had gone to the refresher and had come back. In a new tight black dress and make up on, she whispered seductively, "Want to go on a date with me, hot stuff?"

Looking up from his work at the nickname, he grinned. She no longer looked as childish as he had made her look in his mind's eye. She was a woman, full-bodied and sexy. "And what do you propose?"

"The Ulgo hotel and restaurant that overlooks most of the Upper City." As he rose from his chair, she handed him a warm wool coat. Grabbing her coat as well, she slipped an arm through his offered one. "Lead on, kind sir." She commanded, hoping he knew where it was from studying the maps.

He did know where it was. They had gotten a table after thirty minutes and sat in comfortable silence as they listened to the soft jazz music the band played. The room was dimly lit with only candles and a huge fireplace. There was a male singer, but his sung words merely danced near their ears. Carth was concentrating on the price of the food, while Landyr's eyes swept the crowd. "Looking for someone, dear?" When they were out in public together, they were Corren and Lhare Jast.

"Not particularly, Corren," she replied with a smile on her lips. She loved being in disguise. She liked the fake names, the made up stories, the acting. She had loved theatre when she was younger; at least that was what her memories had revealed to her. Being in disguise meant she was basically acting in a play. "Hopefully a waiter comes soon. I'm starving. Did you find anything you'd like?"

"It's a little pricy, Lhare. Are you wishing to split it with me?" She could tell he also liked playing up their parts, or maybe he just didn't want to pay fifty some credits for two plates of food.

"Sure, darling, just make sure we get something with no meat. I'm a vegetarian." He looked up from the menu, surprised. She had not eaten any of the dried meat they had back at the apartment. She winked, knowingly. "It'll save us on the money, dear."

"Well do you have any suggestions," he asked, moving his chair so they sat side by side.

Entangling her fingers within his, she whispered back, "Scentwine and Red Gourd Soup. Scentwine smells good and tastes better. Red Gourd Soup is a Mandalorian dish, which I am very fond of."

"Now we wait for the waiter." He snorted at the play on words.

Soon enough the waiter came and they enjoyed a quiet meal, just listening to the soft music. When they had finished the soup, they ordered a sweetcake and ate that as well. Standing as the waiter came, Landyr asked the young man something Carth couldn't hear.

"Yes, ma'am. That's Davik Kang. He eats here every night." The waiter bowed and took their plates away. She smirked before turning back to Carth.

"Bingo." She started towards the bar, in opposite direction of the Exchange Boss.

"Lhare," he called after her, using her fake name. When she did not respond, he slunk back into his seat and waited for her to return. Coming back to their table she had brought back Mandalorian wine. "Why… oh, never mind."

"A little bit of Manda to heighten battle and aggressiveness," she threw back the small glass, shuddering in delight as the bitter wine burned down her throat. "We're here on business, Corren." Giving him a smile, the one that reminded him of her smile during battle on the Endar Spire, she murmured softly in his ear, "Take me dancing, darling."

Obliging, he stood and offered her is arm. They proceeded to the dance floor, getting in a nice rhythm as they started to waltz. She focused her efforts on Davik, enticing him to invite her over to him. Swirling around in Carth's strong arms, she paid no attention to him and his excellent formal dancing.

It did not really bother him that she was paying him no heed. He loved to dance with his wife and hadn't had such a pleasure of doing so since the bombing of Telos. He just followed her lead for she knew something he didn't or she had some plan that she couldn't be bothered to tell him. He had actually given up on her spontaneity and decided that he just shouldn't ask questions.

Before long, one of Davik's men came up and tapped Carth on the shoulder. From what she could tell in the dim lighting, he was about six foot with black graying hair and dark gray eyes. He had been a warrior or was still one as he was fairly muscular. Narrowing her eyes at him, she moved closer to the alluring man and away from the safety that was Carth.

He took her by the waist and started to whisper in her ear. "Mister Kang would like a word with you, Cyar'ika."

Acknowledging the Mandalorian, she whispered back to him, "Vor entye." He gave a rough laugh at her knowledge of the language and guided her over to Davik, leaving Carth to go back to their table and eye them from afar.

The Exchange boss rose and took her hand. He bowed over it, placing a soft kiss upon it. She fought the urge to retract her hand in disgust, merely letting to go limp him his calloused ones. "My name is Davik Kang. And to whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"I am Lhare Jast, mercenary extraordinaire." She took the seat closest to the Mandalorian, feeling more comfortable with her kin than with the slimy crime boss.

"I figured as much given that you've been very active in the dueling rings. Beautiful form, if I might add." Davik gave a nod to the Mandalorian, indicating he could talk.

"Echani. Ori'jate."

"Vor'e, vod." Turning back to Davik, she inquired, "What did you wish to see me for? My partner, I'm sure, is missing my company."

"I wish to hire you."

"For what?" She was concerned with the creepy smile on his face. They were not so desperate that she would perform for him.

"You and Ordo here are going to retrieve the young Jedi Bastila. That way I can sell her to Malak for a great prize."

"And why would I want to help you? Maybe I'm not sympathetic to the Sith cause."

"Well, neither am I, but I can buy you an indefinite amount of items and give you an unlimited salary. I can buy your medicine." She focused her full attention on him at the mention of medicine.

"How did you know?"

"I have friends. I have suspended the manufacturing of the drug you need. I will start the making of it again only after you have agreed."

"Chakaar!" At her word, Ordo clutched her upper arm hard in an iron grip. Whimpering in pain, she murmured an apology. Forced into the situation, she agreed. "I'll do your dirty work, Davik." The Mandalorian released her.

Standing, the crime lord bid her farewell, leaving with his entourage. The Mandalorian stayed back. Rubbing her arm in comfort her leaned in and whispered to her in Mando'a, "Come by apartment 9A in the Northern apartment complex later. I want to go over weapons and battle tactics. Don't bring your guard dog." He left with not another word and she slunk back over to Carth.

"We're in."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

As she climbed the stairs to his apartment, she could not tell what she felt. It was a mixture of uneasiness, comfort, and anger. Leaving Carth in their apartment on the second floor, she ventured up after telling him she was going out for a drag. As she approached the Mandalorian's door, her fear heightened in a pleasurable sense.

When she knocked on his door, his rough growl of 'come in' invited her inside. He was on the ground in a plank position, doing push-ups. And to her delight, he was shirtless. "Another fifty and I'll be done. Take a seat." He gestured with his head.

She sat on one of the hard backed chairs, glancing over the guns, swords, knives and grenades he had displayed upon the table and along the wall. Studying them, she recognized many of the makes as Mandalorian, which would make sense. A beautiful Beskad lay in a glass case. Engraved on the side in Mando'a was "Verd ori'shya beskar'gam." She translated out loud without knowing she had spoken. "A warrior is more than his armor."

He was suddenly behind her with a hand on her shoulder. "My father inscribed that for me."

"Only Mandalore… only he would be able to engrave it." She looked up at him; his dangerous face gave nothing away. "Canderous Ordo?"

"Yes?"

"That is your name?"

"Elek."

She whispered as she rose to face him. Her fingers ghosted across his stubbly chin, tracing his light scars. "My Mandalore? You are it now, aren't you?"

"I turned from that path after Malachor V. I live just a simple life now." He had brought her closer to him, acknowledging her similarities to him.

Becoming cross, she spat, "You work for a crime boss. Dishonorable and scheming." As she punctuated the last three words, she was slammed up against a wall. She was short of breath with this dangerous man. He excited her culture within her, the lust for battle, making the encounter semi-erotic.

"I am no better than you, Republic dog. Your Mandalorian blood is curdled by making peace when you should be conquering. You are a disgrace to our people just as much as I am." He gripped her waist hard, crushing her against the wall with his body.

Breathlessly, she mumbled, "Aruetii…" Her word was stolen from her with a rough, angry kiss. Fighting him, she kissed back, trying to prove her dominance.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Trying her best not to wake Carth as she snuck back into their apartment, she tip-toed softly. To her surprise, a light flickered on and Carth was sitting on the bed, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. "Hey, comrade."

"Where were you? It does not take half the night to have a drag!" He thought he would only have to reprimand his son like this when he would have gotten a little older. He did not think he needed to have this conversation with a grown woman.

"Oh, just out a bit." She was not exactly aware of her disheveled hair and the furious red mark upon her neck. It was clear to him what she had been doing and it only angered him further that she would not be outright with him.

"Who'd you play lap dog to? Kang or the Mandalorian?"

"My sex life is not up for conversation, Carth."

"It is when you could have jeopardized us." Running a hand through his hair, he muttered, "You scared me. I thought… well, I just thought… God, I thought you were gone like Chaar. I thought you were dead, Landyr," his voice broke.

Coming over to him, she laid a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry to have worried you, Carth. I promise I'll tell you when I'll be out late."

As she went to the refresher, he called after her. "He was very small, wasn't he? All those steroids he must take… I bet you were completely unsatisfied."

"Shut it, Onasi! He was better than you could ever be!" She laughed.

"Ouch. Man pride."

"Get some sleep! We're going to the Lower City in the morning!" And the water from the shower was the last sound he heard before falling deep into sleep.

* * *

Translations:

Cyar'ika: darling, beloved, sweetheart

Vor entye: Thank you, Lit. I accept a debt

Ori'jate: very good

Vor'e: Thanks

vod: brother, sister, comrade

Chakaar: thief, petty criminal, scumbag; Literally: "grave robber"; general term of abuse

Verd ori'shya beskar'gam: A warrior is worth more than his armor

Elek: yes

Aruetii: traitor (non-Mandalorian)

* * *

How did you guys like that chapter? Do you like my straying from the plot? What do you think of the story so far? How do you think Canderous and Landyr will turn out? Do you think this is really a Carth/ Revan story? Or does the Canderous/ Revan story interest you more? And what of Bastila? Cut-scene to her? maybe.

REVIEW and answer the above questions, if you like. Say whatever you want!

~PlaguedPorcelain


	7. Chapter 7: For Luck

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is owned by Lucas Arts or Bioware!

A/N: Sooooooo. How's the first autumn days treating you? I have a cold and have been able to write a little more in my spare time as I find people don't want to be around someone with a cold.

Some info about this chapter: Damn it! It's another filler chapter. Why?! Why can't you just progress with the actual story?!

I hope you like my take on certain events. Sorry about the sudden we need money move. It's a bit sudden... for a lack of words.

READ AND REVIEW!

~PlaguedPorcelain~

* * *

Chapter 7: Shockingly, for Luck

"Why does the grandpa have to come along?" Canderous looked to Landyr for answers. He was ticked. Working with the Republic officer put him in a bad mood. Maybe he was still at little sore from losing the Mandalorian Wars. Or maybe it was just his annoying 'goody-goody' personality.

"Same reason you are. I want to find Bastila," Carth haughtily acknowledge him. He didn't trust the Mandalorian any more than Canderous trusted him. He had his hand close to his blaster, readying to fire it before he could be a traitor. Regardless of the fact that Landyr seemed to be comfortable with him, he just couldn't see past the mask Canderous once wore.

"Okay, settle down, ladies." Landyr crouched next to an exposed electrical wire, messing with it. She was trying to reconfigure the camera feed so that it did not capture them talking with the Sith that stood outside the elevator to the Lower City. It sparked and shocked her, immediately triggering her response to shriek and stick her finger in her mouth. "Shit! Hey, Carth, you think you can do this?"

"We'll see."

She gave him her tools before going over to her bag to retrieve a cooling crystal to calm her burn. "Damnit!" At her cursing, Carth looked over to her. He was concerned with her wellbeing, where Canderous just stood by the wayside, looking over his shoulder.

Before severing some of the wires, Carth asked, "You alright?"

"Yeah. Just a little shock to the system. I love when electricity shocks my brain." _So it wasn't her finger that hurt. _

He cut the right wire, standing after he did so. He came and pushed her hands away, down towards her sides. Grabbing her head, he bent it down so he could search through her hair for the scar that had formed from their crash. He heard her gasp in pain as he pushed slightly on the raised scar. "Landyr," his voice was a low growl. "Why didn't you tell me this was infected? You need to go see Zelka."

"Well, I can't rightly see the back of my head, Carth. Plus, my smokes don't allow me to feel the pain very well."

Canderous turned towards them at her words. "You have smokes?"

"Not the point, Mando."

"Stuff it, Republic."

"Again! Stop fighting." She took her head out of Carth's hands, batting them away. "Anyways, I'm fine. The electricity just shocked some sort of memory overload in my brain, because a lot of memories just flooded my mind. Though they are different than my other ones."

"Do you remember before you were a mercenary?" Carth was legitimately interested as it could lead to learning more about her past.

"No, they are just different versions of my childhood." She closed her eyes in an effort to focus. "Like I lived with both my mother and father on Onderon. My father was a politician and was home all the time. My mother was happy and beautiful, and was a handmaiden to the queen, Galia. We lived in the palace and I played with the teenaged princess. God, what's her name?"

"Talia?"

"Yes! I would play in the gardens with Talia. It's all so different than my mother being a drug addict and me killing…. I don't know what to believe. They both seem so true." She opened her eyes, looking into Carth's confused gaze.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, just going to grab a smoke. And no, Canderous, you cannot have one. They're medicinal." She fished in her pocket for the smoke and lighter. She pulled out both and lit up. Inhaling with a sigh, she asked, "Carth, are the cameras off?"

"Yes. But we don't have long before someone comes to investigate…"

"Turn it back on."

"What? Why?"

"Just do what I said." She put out her last smoke, feeling the medicine warm her brain with happiness. "Canderous?"

"Ad'ika?" he replied, using the Mando'a term for kid.

"Meet us in the cantina after you've fetched one of your Beskad. I want to fight." He nodded and was off. "Come on, Carth. We're earning a little bit more money so I can buy my freedom from Kang."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Landyr, what is this all about? Why do you want to do this right now?"

"You want me going down to the Lower City enslaved by Kang? I don't think so. I'm not putting myself down where he rules without some money. I do not trust Canderous."

"Why not? I thought he was 'delicious' in bed…" he chuckled at his humor.

She mocked his laugh. "Yeah… what I didn't tell you was…"

"It was a business deal," Canderous stood behind her. "She gave me her body for information."

"What?!" Carth became angrier than he had been last night when he had found out she had slept with him. They had slept with each other for information. What did she tell him? What did he tell her? "What did you tell him?" He took her by the arm harshly.

"Ouch!" she snarled, trying to yank her arm away. "I told him about my childhood! Not our mission. Plus, he already knows your Republic. It's not that hard to figure out. But thanks for the bruise, dick."

He released her, feeling somewhat guilty, though he felt his reaction was justifiable. Now he was curious; what had Canderous told her? Whispering to her, he asked, "What did you get in return?"

"Well, one: Davik has a ship. Two: where to get the launch codes for us to bypass the quarantine. Three: how to get Davik's ship. Good enough for you, flyboy?"

"Yes, Kasra, it is," he responded aggravated with her, opting to use her last name to control himself from calling her a bitch.

As they broke apart, Canderous smiled smugly. "You little lovers' spat is over, right?"

"Yes, Canderous," she said, coming up to him to grab the Beskad he had brought. It was small and slight compared to his one. It was probably made for a woman or a child. She swung it around getting a feel for the balance. Stopping, she smiled and said, "Okay, time to take in the money."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

After two hours of her assaulting the other competitors, she was asked to a death match with the one and only Bendak Starkiller. When she was approached by the Mandalorian, Canderous had defended her, stepping between her and the golden suit. Now, although she said she would not be participating in the death match, he was still talking her ear off with concerns. Carth, however, did agree with him. Neither of them was listening to her when she was saying that she would not partake in the death match.

"Again, Gorse Bendak is one of the most experienced bounty hunters on this planet. He's more dangerous than I am and that's saying something…"

Carth added, "Do you even need to fight him? We have enough money from all of your escapades."

"Listen to me! I'm not fighting him! Do you just need me to go tell him that? Is that what you two want? Sheesh, you guys are worse than parents…" She slung her bag over her shoulder and marched over to the golden armored Mandalorian.

"Mysterious Stanger," he greeted her with her alias. "Ready to fight?"

"I'm sorry to dishonor you, Bendak, but I will not fight you. You see, I'd rather both of us keep our lives. Manda does not need more of us joining the millions that have recently died. We are need alive." She bowed, awaiting his answer.

"As much of a dishonor this is, I respect your decision and agree with your position. Though, as a token of luck, I give you my blaster. Take care of it." He presented it to her with a blaster.

"Don't you need it?"

He pushed it into her hand, closing her fingers about it. "I'm going on trial in three days. I am pleading guilty. I do not want my blaster to be in the hands of the Sith regime. Do not dishonor me further."

"Thank you. May Manda welcome you. Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la." She bowed to him once again, and departed from him.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"He gave you his blaster?" Canderous raised his eyebrows at the gift as they stepped out of the elevator to the Lower City. The Sith had let them pass with a nod from the Mandalorian. The camera system had been cut and they were unseen by the security.

As blasters sounded in a near proximity, she drew the gift from the gold suit. She answered him as they rounded the corner, finding the two warring swoop gangs going at it.

"For luck."

* * *

**_Translation:_**

**_Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la - "Not gone, merely marching far away"_**

A/N: Sorry if you were hoping Canderous and Landyr got together... They used each other for information. Doing so is not the best way to start a relationship. How do you like me portraying Onderon as her homeworld? Is it her homeworld? Was her mother a drug addict or was she a handmaiden? How did you like Bendak for the small amount of time he was seen? Any suggestions? Any questions? Any critiques or comments on a mistake I made?

Tell me in the reviews!

~PlaguedPorcelain

PS: check out my other two KOTOR fanfics, which can be found on my profile. And my newest story: a one-shot from the Chronicles of Narnia fandom.


	8. Chapter 8: The Jacket and a Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

A/N: So. It's freezing inside and outside. And I still have that blasted cold! So about this chapter... I've been ridiculous lately. I have purposely neglected this chapter. I did not want to write it or do anything with it. I had three papers due this week and I should have procrastinated by writing this chapter but I actually did my papers instead of procrastinating. And do not even get me started on college applications...

This chapter is definitely a filler chapter mainly because I needed to solve the issue of her wound infection. I kind of like this chapter, though I didn't like it writing it. I love Carth here, hopefully we'll see more of him. Plus I also felt like I needed to take a vacation from Canderous. In all reality, because he does not have much conflict with Revan it's boring to write about him (just my opinion. Don't kill me!)

Without further ado, Chapter 8. Please read and review. Or I will freeze. Your love gives me warmth!

~PlaguedPorcelain

* * *

Chapter 8: The Jacket and a Kiss

She knelt beside the aliens, closing their eyes and removing items she found helpful from their bodies. Saying the small Mando'a prayer, she looked to Canderous, whom she thought would surely be doing the same as her. When her gaze questioned him, he answered gruffly, "The desire to do so was quelled during the Wars. One simply couldn't do as such while Malachor V was destroyed."

Carth stared at the two. He could see her delight in him dying. He saw that she had been hoping for some answers to why she does things and who she was when he came along. Yet, the Mandalorian had been completely unhelpful and cold to her even though they had had sex the night before. Clearly, she wasn't all Canderous had hoped she'd be. Why else would he treat her as such?

"Left, Right, or straight," Carth asked, pulling her to her feet. "You're choice, beautiful." _Play your cards right, Onasi._

Canderous cut in before Landyr could say anything. "The Black Vulkars' base is to the right. Straight is a set of apartments and to the left is the rest of the Lower City."

"Straight," she yelled, catching sight of another group of Vulkars leaving their base coming towards them.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit… Out! Out! Out!" she screamed to the men behind her. A Vulkar was coming at them and had in mind to flick a small gray grenade towards them. She knew what it was and they were dead if they did not get out of the complex. "Go, assholes!"

"You're colorful," Carth commented as he gunned down a Nikto Vulkar. She grabbed him, pulling him along with her, having Canderous trail them.

"No words! Just keep running!" They flailed past the door to the complex, pressing their bodies again the wall to the right.

"Mind telling us," Carth asked with slight mirth.

"Thermal detonator." As she spoke he grabbed her and crushed her between him and the wall, cradling her head as the explosion sounded. The apartment complex crumbled with the damage done by the grenade. She could barely breathe between being pressed against Carth's shoulder and the dust created by the explosion.

"Good call, kid," Canderous complimented, dusting himself off a bit.

She went limp in Carth's arms. He loosened his grip, trying to check on her. "Landyr. Force!" He glanced over her body only to find a large piece of shrapnel in her back, piercing through her abdomen. "Hey, Kasra, you still with me?"

"Carth, I… your jacket… it's so ugly. But it smells… like you… I'm sleepy." She had lost and was losing a lot of blood. Slumping against him, he was able to get a good grip on her to lift her bridal style.

"Canderous, you know this place. Where can she get good attention?" He was practically yelling. Why? Why was he so scared to lose her?

"The Beks." He started to lead him towards the Hidden Beks' base, jogging slightly. "I can't go in, but I can lead you there. I'll go get a doctor from Davik's personal medical facility."

As they arrived at the entrance, the guard stopped them. "You'll need permission to get inside."

Canderous looked dangerously at the woman. "These people were attacked in front of the elevator by the Vulkars. The woman needs medical attention! She will die without it. Gadon can approve of them after she's stable."

"You know I cannot allow this! What if they're Vulkar spies or worse Sith spies?" They could hear the Vulkars howling in the hallway, getting closer and closer.

Carth turned from the hallway. "Please help my wife. Lhare won't make it without a doctor." He looked back, watching the Vulkars getting closer and closer. "Please!"

She thought for a second before punching the button, opening the door. "Inside. Quickly!"

He jostled Landyr as they stumbled inside the run-down hallway of the base. He turned to see the Bek come in as well and Canderous stood just outside. The Mandalorian turned as the Vulkars converged on him. And the door closed. Carth could hear him shout to them, "Davik will stop supplying you if you go after them again! Do not harm them anymore!" And then there were grunts of agreement and silence.

"Where?" He wanted to stop her bleeding.

The woman replied sharply, "Come with me." She led them past many of the other confused Hidden Beks' members down the hall and to the left in a small room. "This is what serves as our med bay. Do what you think is necessary. Our medical droid will come soon with some kolto injections." Turning, she looked out the door. Looking back at him, she said, "I'm telling Gaden about why you are here."

He laid Landyr on the makeshift bed that was really just a table. He glanced down to his clothes. His pants were stained with blood, but his jacket was not. Ironically, he thanked the Force his jacket was not bloody as he felt it was something she identified him with. He hoped that if her amnesia would relapse, if it was even possible – he didn't know with her case – that he would be recognizable with that stupid, ugly-colored jacket.

He set about stripping her in order to expose her wound. It was deep, but small in diameter. She moaned as he brushed against it. The piece of the wall that had punctured her was durasteel metal. He decided that it would be best to stop her bleeding before she could get medical attention. He took out her backpack, finding a jug of whiskey she had in there for sterilization, just in case. "Hey, sweetheart," he slapped her gently on her face. She moaned in acknowledgement. "I'm going to cauterize your wounds before you bleed out."

He put her on her stomach, massaging her upper back as he poured the cold liquor on her back, watching her shudder in small bursts of pain. He fished in her pocket, pulling out her lighter. "Landyr," his voice cracked. "Please. Listen to me. I need you to stay awake. I need to make sure you're alive." He kissed her head, rubbing her back lovingly. "It will be hard though. It's going to hurt."

He steeled himself, pressing hard on her upper back before flicking on the flame. He lowered it to her back, to the whiskey. As the alcohol went up in flames and he almost vomited at the sounds she made, the screeching that came from her soul. "Hush, honey. Be strong." He held her down as she weakly thrashed about. After about three agonizing minutes, she used her shirt to pat out the fire. He didn't dare move her, letting her whimper to herself.

She was crying softly. Kneeling by the table, he took her face in his hands. "You be strong. You survive… You stay alive, no matter what occurs! Do not leave me now, Landyr! You do not leave me now!" She opened her eyes and nodded slightly, moving her hand to his.

Whispering she strained, "Thank you."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

As Davik's doctor stepped from the room, Carth almost assaulted her with questions. The grim-faced woman gave nothing away. "When I did my inspection, infection had not yet settled in the wound on her back. You sufficiently stopped the bleeding, though the risk of Gangrene is high. You must moderate her condition over the next few days. Have the medical droids pump her with kolto." Taking a sigh, she lowered her voice. "Her head wound, however, is a bit trickier. It's definitely infected. I'm afraid that some of the infection has spread to her brain."

A lump formed in his throat. "And?"

"You get to make the decision."

"What decision?" It was sounding like she was suggesting the infection was fatal.

"I treat the infection. Or I don't treat it. She has a high possibility of dying either way, but if you rather get a different doctor…" She folded her arms before saying the bargaining price. "Davik said if I do treat her then I get all of your money."

He didn't know what to do. He wanted the quality medical care to have higher odds of her living, though he did not want to give up all of their credits. Sighing, he murmured, "You treat it." He followed her back inside to look at Landyr.

Her abdomen was wrapped with a thick layer of gauze and he knew that her wound was no longer bleeding. The doctor had made sure her bra stayed on when she was operating for Landyr's privacy. She gestured to the red head's hair. "All of this will have to go for me to even help her. Do you want to or is it going to be my job?"

"I'll do it. Leave us for the time being." As she left, he tried to rouse Landyr. She shook her and she moaned awake.

"Hey, jacket." She smiled.

"Hey yourself, kid." He twirled a piece of her hair between his fingers. "You're going to live,"

"Figured that. Couldn't have me dying on you." She was starting to slip back into sleep.

"Your head wound is infected and the only way the doctor can help you is if I cut off your beautiful hair." He was struggling with his emotions. He had lied to her. He didn't know if she was going to live. It tore him up to see the utter hope she placed in his words, that slight smile gracing her features.

"Cut it then. I've had short hair before." She grabbed his hand and fisted it in her hair. "Just make it look good, jacket." She slipped back into sleep, her energy drained.

Upon her instructions, he began to saw off her hair with a small blade, feeling sad as her gorgeous locks fell to the floor. As he finished, he was able to see the infected wound. It was red and irritated and yellow with infection. He had made the right decision. It needed to be treated right then and there. Before he knew what he was doing, he was tossing all of her hair into the garbage bin, hesitating on the last lock. He slipped it into his pocket and left the room. "She's all yours," he said darkly.

"It'll be well worth your credits, trust me."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

There were several times when he had gone out to talk to Canderous, meeting up in the cantina, the only other safe spot in the Lower City, though people did get killed. He learned that their income was growing; Canderous was bounty hunting. He had collected about 2000 in credits in the last week and had been in the Undercity to get in some sport hunting the rakghouls. He had just come back from talking with Canderous to find Landyr up and talking to Gadon.

He lurked in the shadows, not really wanting to ruin the moment. He heard her speaking softly. "It is all very confusing for me. I don't know who I am or who you think my husband is. I'm actually not even sure I know what this place is."

"You are in the Hidden Bek base in the Lower City on the planet of Taris. Your husband told me your name is Lhare, but I have overheard him calling you Landyr. Your husband also told me that his name is Carth. Does any of that ring a bell?" It was the blind leading the mentally blind.

"No not really."

Carth decided to make his move. "Landyr, hey, you're awake."

"Jacket." His ugly jacket was the thing she remembered. Shutting her eyes and concentrating she whispered, "Carth?"

"Yes."

She launched herself at him, kissing him passionately. He did not fully participate, but did welcome the soft lips on his own. Breaking apart, he said, "Glad to see you too?"

Her eyes searched his and she put her mouth to his ear. "I'm not your wife, am I?"

"No."

"That explains it." She turned towards Gadon and thanked him. "I think I'll be getting back to bed now."

"Pleasant dreams, Landyr."

As they walked back to their room, she looked at him angrily. "If we're not married, why do you tell people we are?"

Carth sighed. "It's a cover, a disguise."

"Why do we need one?"

"We are officers of the Republic. This planet is run by the Sith. They will kill us if they find us. We are searching for a Jedi and we can do that after you get better." He opened the door for her and followed her inside. He took the only chair and she lay down on the bed.

"Will I remember things tomorrow?"

He felt his heart contract a bit at her question. She had felt what remembering was like and had lost it. Sure, she was confused and frustrated, but what he for sure thought she felt was loneliness and uncertainty. It was a terrible feeling he hopefully would never have to discover. Ignoring her question he mumbled, "Let me check your wounds."

She sat up, leaning over. Her head wound was free of infection and had scarred nicely. The doctor said that it would not leave any permanent marks and that her brain should not be infected much longer. He pushed her head up and reached down for the hem of her shirt. Instead of insisting on doing it herself like he thought she would, he slowly pulled her shirt off as to not catch on the bandages.

Her breathing had quickened and she was staring at him with innocent eyes. His breath caught in his throat as his gaze travelled over to breasts to the top of the bandage. He removed it slowly not for pleasure, but to ensure he did not injure her more. When it finally came off, he turned her to see her back. There was a scar and that was all. It was completely healed. It should have taken her another week or two to even be able to be comfortable walking around with it.

"You're good." He re-wrapped her and put her shirt in her hands. "Put that on and go to bed."

"Are you sleeping too?" She slid the soft fabric over her head.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Here."

She looked to the chair he gestured to and moved over on the makeshift bed. Patting it, she said, "Sleep here."

"…I – I… can't," he stuttered.

"Do it, or I will sleep on the chair." Obeying her, he climbed onto the table and pulled the blanket over them. "Plus it's really cold," she shivered, hugging him to her. She nuzzled against his chest and was asleep much soon than he was. Because of her deathlike grip on him, he was not able to leave without waking her. Giving in, he wrapped a strong arm about her, pulling her close.

Whispering into the night, he asked, "What are you doing to me? Why are you becoming the one after so many years?"

* * *

A/N: So how was that? I kind of like it. Tell me what you think! How do you feel about the cauterizing? It kind of sickens me, personally. How do you feel about the hair cutting? Sad, all that gorgeous red hair. How do you feel about Mr. Onasi?

Additional (optional) questions: How is your day going? Is it freezing cold where you live? Anything ridiculous you want to escape from (aka college apps)? Not to start a political debate, but if you watched the debate, what do you think about it? (Please no political opinions. I don't care who you're wanting to vote for or who you think is the worst. I want to know about what you thought about the actual format.) Do you think the VP debate will be more entertaining? I do.

If you are the first to review, tell me one of two things in your review: Do you want me to review one of your pieces? _**OR **_Would you like to co-write a chapter of Carving with me?

_**REVIEW!**_

~PlaguedPorcelain


	9. Chapter 9: Chairs at Not so Empty Tables

A/N: Hey, I'm back. It's almost been two weeks. I've just been really busy but also very lazy. Ha, I'm such a bum. So people of the internet, for your eyes only, I present Chapter 9? Holy cheese! We've come this far already and it's been about a month. I am on top of things, figuratively, not literally... Awkward. But yeah, pat yourselves on the back! You've done great reading this story and reviewing and by doing so have made me want to continue writing this. You guys are a very positive fandom! Oh so giving with reviews and views!

About this Chapter: There is a song from Les Mis, one very dear to my heart. A metal bikini... Some cute Carth/Revan stuff. Awwwww. Mission, Zaalbar, and a drunk Brejik in a bar. That's about all this chapter is. I'm heading to some of the plot. This was just a filler chapter to help flesh out some characters and introduce some others.

Here is a version of Empty Chairs at Empty Tables. I had the pleasure of meeting this young man at church camp and my brother is good friends with him. I think it is the best version out there, though I might be a little biased... www. youtube watch?v=USdaITNr7hU I'll also post it to my blog. There is a link that is found on my profile. (HEADS UP: that address is without the spaces)

So dear readers of the KOTOR fandom, enjoy! Read and Review like always! I love you guys! :D

With the humblest thanks,

~PlaguedPorcelain

* * *

Chapter 9: Chairs at Not so Empty Tables

When he awoke the next morning, Carth walked out into the compound and was met by a Bek. "Where is she?"

"She left for the cantina this morning with that Mandalorian." He headed out after hearing that. She was too ill still to be fooling around with Canderous, sexually or not.

As he came upon the door to the cantina, the bouncer – different than the normal one – stopped him. "If you're here for the private party hosted by Brejik, then come on in," he slurred, drunk already. He waved him inside and sighed cheerfully to himself with his accomplishment.

Carth walked inside to find the cantina alive with boisterous chatting and singing and dancing. Wandering around confused, he found himself sitting at the bar with a pint of Tarisian ale next to a Wookiee and a Twi'lek.

The Twi'lek spoke Basic to the Shyriiwook speaking Wookiee. "That girl's really good. Though selling herself to Brejik was a stupid move. She's too good for that monster."

Carth turned to her and asked, "Who are you talking about?"

"The redheaded girl in the music room. She's singing right now." Carth tore away from them uttering his thanks.

She wasn't singing though. The band was playing sensual music and she was atop Brejik's lap, dancing. Her outfit made him instantly infuriated. She was scantily clad in a metal bikini, the one that slaves wore. He took a seat at the far table with anger. She looked to him and kissed Brejik, running her tongue across his lips. She dismounted and went to Carth, beginning to repeat the dance. "Hey, jacket." She grabbed ahold of the zipper with her teeth and pulled it down a bit.

"Landyr," he growled in warning as she nipped at his jaw line. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Entertaining you."

"I don't need to be entertained." He resisted the moan that tried to escape his lips as she rolled her hips harshly against his. "You're still injured. You shouldn't even be here. Why are you here?"

She smiled and sat back. "I'm doing a job for Canderous." She kissed him square on the mouth before leaping up. "Sit back and enjoy, jacket."

He did as he was told and watched as she went up to the stage again. The band finished their song and she took the microphone. "Now that we have enjoyed each other's company, I'd like to honor those for which this party was thrown for: the fallen members of the Black Vulkars. I choose an old Mandalorian lament for this occasion. I hope it does honor your family."

The band started playing the slow ballad. Carth recognized it immediately. It was a sad song, one of war and revolution and loss.

There's a grief that can't be spoken.  
There's a pain goes on and on.  
Empty chairs at empty tables  
Now my friends are dead and gone.

Here they talked of revolution.  
Here it was they lit the flame.  
Here they sang about `tomorrow'  
And tomorrow never came.

She sang quietly on the stage, her eyes closed. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, like she was trying to remember something. She kept singing and still had her eyes closed.

From the table in the corner  
They could see a world reborn  
And they rose with voices ringing  
I can hear them now!  
The very words that they had sung  
Became their last communion  
On the lonely barricade at dawn.

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me  
That I live and you are gone.  
There's a grief that can't be spoken.  
There's a pain goes on and on.

Phantom faces at the window.  
Phantom shadows on the floor.  
Empty chairs at empty tables  
Where my friends will meet no more.

Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me!

She sang those words with such desperation; it was almost a shout. He began to wonder if she blamed herself for the loss of her companions, such as Trask and Dacob. Or was she a traitor? He could only entertain the thought darkly as she continued.

What your sacrifice was for  
Empty chairs at empty tables  
Where my friends will meet no more

He found it inappropriate to clap. Brejik stood and bowed to her. She came and kissed him. She whispered something that Carth couldn't hear, though he could see her lips moving.

And then Canderous came out, his guns pointed at Brejik. Everything was silent. "Brejik, you are late on your payments."

He stammered drunkenly. "What…We paid… We paid Davik."

"That's Davik's personal girl. How much do you think she costs? You want to know? She costs more than the entire Lower City of Taris. You owe Davik."

Brejik's eyes went wide and he pushed Landyr away from him. She landed safely in Canderous' arms. She hugged herself fiercely to the Mandalorian, gasping in fear that the blasters that the Black Vulkars had drawn against them. The veil that covered her bum was doing a poor job of covering as Carth had quite the view, but he focused on pulling his gun and standing near his companions, coming up behind Landyr to block the view for others.

"How are you going to make it up to us, Brejik?"

"Come… come back to the base. I have money there for the girl. I have more than money…" He walked out of the room with his men and Canderous trailing them. Carth and Landyr stayed behind.

Putting his blaster away, he took her by the arm and pulled her out of the music room. When he received looks from the other attendees, he took off his jacket and put it about her shoulders. "Put it on," he ordered.

She did so and like a child, she said nothing as she felt his disappointment. He took a booth seat and motioned for her to join him. Sighing he addressed her, "Landyr, why do you think I'm mad?"

She looked at him, her eyes now no longer alluring him, no longer causing a mysterious stirring within him. "Because I extort my sexuality?"

"No… well, yes, but not really." He decided if he was honest about it, they would be closer to trusting each other. "It's because you don't tell me you're doing such dangerous work. Brejik is the leader of the Black Vulkars for Forcesake! And that time you performed at the Sith party… And the time with Canderous... What I'm trying to say is that you scare me. When you go out by yourself and do dangerous things, I'm afraid to lose you." He began to stammer in embarrassment. "Landyr, I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. Even though I was – am –harsh to you and judgmental, you were my friend; you trusted me." He took her hand and rubbed her knuckles and kissed them. "You are my healer. You make me want to trust you, trust others." He grew stern again. "But I can't if you're dead."

She moved from her seat across from him to his seat at the booth. Wrapping her small arms about him, she whispered, "Thank you, Carth." Dropping her arms, she leaned against him, comfortable against his shoulder.

After a moment of silence, Carth asked softly, "Where did you get that outfit?"

She perked up, smiling cheekily at him. She looked through her eyelashes at him sensually. "You like it, jacket?" He ignored her and waited for his question to be answered. "I got it from Zax, the Hutt. He said all I had to do was dance for him once and then I could keep it. So… on our nights alone…" She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

He laughed. "Save that for Canderous. Or is Brejik your new man?" He laughed even harder as he asked, "Or are you 'Davik's personal girl'?"

She grew red in embarrassment and batted at him. "I like wearing this. The breeze is nice."

"I'm sure it is."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X

When Canderous came back into the cantina, she had changed into her normal clothes and Carth was in his jacket again. The Mandalorian strode smugly up to them and presented them with a valuable item. "Papers for the lift down to the Undercity. I found out the ones Davik gave me had expired. Brejik stole these from the Beks who stole them from the corpses of dead soldiers down in the Undercity." He smirked at Landyr. "This is what your lap dance earned us. Good job, kid."

"Thanks. I'm glad my exploitation of Brejik's arousal got us something good." She smiled at their disgusted faces. "Good job, Mando, for the plan. Good job, jacket, for the back-up, literally." She poked Carth in the arm with a knowing smile.

He blushed deeply as Canderous was enlightened by Landyr. The Mandalorian chuckled. "Got to see the nice view, Republic? The front's even better."

"Canderous!" she shrieked. Carth just blushed deeper. As they settled down, she said, "So, what are we waiting for? Let's go find those escape pods."

Carth and Canderous both looked to her and shook their heads. "You're not going, kid," the elder said.

Carth nodded in agreement. "It's too dangerous."

"I can handle myself! And as I recall, vaguely, I was the one to save both of your lives because I spotted the guy with the thermal detonator." She was not shocked that Carth would be against her going, but Canderous did surprise her with his words. "Plus, I'm more skilled than both of you in battle. All of my injuries after the Endar Spire have been from non-combat things, aka the crash landing – thank you, Carth – and the piece of the wall going into my side – thank you, crazy grenade guy."

Carth opened his mouth to speak and give her a reason why she couldn't come, but she continued on. "If this is about your manly pride or some other shit like that, don't bother going there. I've infiltrated a Sith party, slept with the enemy – no offense, Canderous – lap-danced for a plan and did all sorts of things while you two have just stood around and pulled out your blasters when necessary. It's like I'm not even acknowledged as the leader of this team."

That time Carth was able to talk. His gaze narrowed as he put it plainly. "I'm your commanding officer. I order you to stay with the Beks until we come back. Do I make myself clear, Kasra?"

She rolled her eyes as he pulled rank on her. "Yes, sir."

The two men left her in the cantina and she went to the bar to get a drink. She came back to her table and found a Twi'lek and a Wookiee sitting there. "Hey! That's my spot!"

The girl looked up at her as the Wookiee growled at her in his language. "I'm not that old, you bag of fleas!" Landyr was fuming now as the young Twi'lek looked slightly amused at her.

"You're that singer, aren't you? Davik's lap dog, I hear." She twirled her straw in her cup. "The name's Mission Vao. This is Zaalbar, though I call him Big Z. You are?"

"Lhare Jast." She shook hands with both of them and sat down next to Mission as the Twi'lek scooted over to give her room. "You're a stranger pair."

Mission muttered her response as she took a drink. "We just sort of fell in together, ya' know?"

Landyr sat back and smiled. "Yeah, I do. My companions and I have come together because of certain circumstances. We would have never met otherwise."

Mission stared at her. "You do business with Davik?"

"No… well, kind of…" She scratched at her nose in shame.

"You do, or you wouldn't be hanging around Canderous," the Wookiee growled in his language.

"Davik's blackmailing me!" Landyr threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "I need some medicine and stopped all production and distribution of it just so I would help Canderous find a Republic Officer whose escape pod crashed into the Undercity. And I can't even go help my companions because they think it's too dangerous for me! I'm a grown woman. I know how to handle myself."

"We could get you into the Undercity. There is more than one way to get down there…" Mission offered. "I can even lead you to the escape pods if that's what you want."

Landyr's head turned quickly to the Twi'lek's direction. "You would? That's excellent! But I need to find Bastila… that's the whole point." She slumped back down onto the table, feeling a breeze ghost over her exposed behind as she still wore the metal bikini.

Zaalbar growled for a second in thought before suggesting, "Well, I've heard Brejik has a slave he's auctioning off at the big swoop race next week."

Mission slapped the table hard. "That's right! I heard he was giving a Republic Officer away as the prize. That must be her!"

"Fantastic! Now what?" Landyr's sarcasm was met with hostile looks.

"Win the race," Zaalbar said.

"Exactly. Win the race with the prototype accelerator the Vulkars stole from the Beks. We break into the base through the Lower City Sewer system." Landyr wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Yes, I know, Lhare, but it'll work. We steal the accelerator, win the race, take back the officer, give her to Davik or whatever and you get your medicine back."

Landyr liked the sound of that plan. It was a sound plan except for the fact that they did not have enough people to break into the base. But that wasn't really the problem. It was after they retrieved Bastila that she'd have to make the decision to get her medicine back or suffer, knowing that they had done the best for the Republic. "Okay, I'll go change and we'll leave. Hopefully we'll run into Corren and Canderous down there. They're good for back-up."

* * *

A/N: And scene! Okay, y'all! Here are the questions for this chapter: Do you enjoy Les Mis? Did you enjoy the metal bikini? How'd you feel about Carth and Landyr this chapter? Do you like where I'm going with the plot? Is there anything you want to critique or suggest I phrase a bit differently?

How's life? What's your favorite type of music? What music do you listen to when you write/ read?

Please say whatever else you'd like as you are not bound by these questions!

THANK YOU!

I promise I'm not addicted to your Reviews, but a quick fix would surely help this withdrawl...

~PlaguedPorcelain

PS: My cat, Mika -affectionately known as Mikachu- is breathing very creepily behind me. She has a little cold. She is very sneezy...


	10. Chapter 10: Everything Burns

A/N: so beautiful people of the KOTOR fandom, instead of working on my summary and response paper, I elected to write this chapter. Please excuse any craziness in this chapter, I'm running on green tea and Nyquil (though point them out so I can correct them). I was listening to Coldplay while writting this, so I apologize for some of the darkness in this chapter.

I'm pretty bummed out after writting this chapter. Please cheer me up with your comments. (haha. You don't need to.)

~PlaguedPorcelain

* * *

Chapter 10: Everything Burns

And now, that plan was not as convincing as she thought it was. It was her, Mission and Zaalbar cornered in the Lower City Sewers by a bunch of Gamorreans. She couched as she reloaded. "Focus your fire on the soft spots in their armor!" she screamed in Twi'leki, unconsciously, to Mission over the sounds of blasters.

"And where is that?" Mission shouted back.

"Neck! The neck!" The blaster ammo she had was damaged and was not fitting into the gun. "Damn it!"

Zaalbar tossed her a different magazine. "They have no necks," he laughed.

She laughed at his joke and thanked him. Rising, she added her fire to the fight. She took down two before she realized that they were completely outnumbered. Ducking behind some rubble, she started to think. All of the different options she had, only one could actually save them. "Mission!"

The Twi'lek ran to her and crouched beside her, leaving the Wookiee to hold his own. "Yeah?"

"Run. Go find Carth and Canderous. Zaalbar and I can hold them off. You're faster than both of us." She turned and took a couple a shots at the Gamorreans as she felt Zaalbar was letting them advance.

"Who's Carth?"

"Corren. Never mind that. Just find them." She launched a flash grenade at their enemy and saw Mission dart from the corridor. As soon as she left their sights, Landyr stood and fired at the Gamorreans, hoping to draw their fire away from the fleeing Twi'lek.

She dropped to her knees again, checking the magazine. "Force! Really? Zaalbar, any more mags?"

His roared 'no' resonated throughout the room deafening the sound of the blaster fire. She yelled out in the disgusting Gamorrean language. "We surrender to you!" She waited until all of the enemy fire had stop before standing again. She motioned for Zaalbar to come out from behind the pillar where he took cover. She raised her hands in defeat and calmed her breath as they surrounded them.

As they lunged at Zaalbar with an axe, she ran and tried to block their hits on him with her Echani techniques. She caught the handle of one of the axes and plunged it into the chest of a Gamorrean. One of the brutes grabbed her about the waist and turned her towards him. He snorted in his vile language. "You kill many of good men, human female. You pay." He lifted her and with huge force threw her against the nearby wall, knocking her unconscious.

Zaalbar growled at the slavers as they stripped her of her clothing and placed a neural band on her head before she could wake.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Just as they had fought off the rakghouls, they saw the form of a blue female Twi'lek sprinting towards them. She looked panicked and could barely catch her breath when she stopped before them. Carth lowered his raised blaster as he recognized her from the cantina, the one who had told him where Landyr had been. Canderous scowled and asked gruffly, "What do you want, Mission?"

"You have to help them! The… the Gamorreans… they have them! Please! She told me… you need to come and help me save them! Please!" She stumbled through her words, being out of breath, frustrated and confused.

"Slow down, kid," Carth calmed her soothingly. Coming up to her, he reached out a hand to her, grabbing her by the shoulder. Looking into her frightened eyes, he tried to quiet her nerves. "Start from the beginning."

Gulping down a full breath of air, she started slowly. "Zaalbar, Lhare Jast and I went down into the sewers because we were going to break into the Black Vulkar base through the sewers and retrieve the prototype accelerator so that we could win the big swoop race that Bastila is going to be the prize at so that we could give her to Davik so that Lhare can get her medicine back…" She inhaled greatly after her long, continuous sentence. "So we went down into the sewers, but we ran into some Gamorrean slavers and Lhare told me to run and get you guys while she and Zaalbar held them back. I think they were captured! Please, you have to help them!"

"Damn it! I told her to stay put. I'm going to kill her when I get ahold of her," Carth fumed. "Lead us."

Mission led them into the sewers, only having to fight off a few Rakghouls and one Gamorrean patrolman. Right as they rounded the corner to where they had been fighting, Mission whistled. Hearing no growl from Zaalbar, she peeked around the corner. There were four dead Gamorreans and no sign of Zaalbar or Landyr. As she reentered the room she spied a line of blood on the left wall, like a body had crashed into it and slid down. She went to where they had taken cover and found the two empty magazines that Landyr had used, the blaster she had been using, and the damaged magazine. Picking up the blaster, she pushed it into her belt. Zaalbar's crossbow was not there, so the Gamorreans had taken it as well.

"They were here…" she whispered as she watched Carth touch the blood on the wall.

"Landyr," he mumbled, smearing the blood on his fingers. "Where is their encampment?"

"Not too much farther down, I think." Mission ran from the room and took the left. Backing out quickly, she took cover behind a pillar that jutted out from the wall. Blaster fire followed. The huge Gamorreans waddled out from the room with an angry swagger. Canderous and Carth let loose their fire upon the brutes and soon the slavers were dead.

Carth checked his leg, feeling along the singed hole in his pants that was created from blaster fire. Coming to the conclusion he was okay, he looked around and immediately asked, "Everyone okay?"

'Yes' came from both of Canderous' and Mission's mouth and he led them forward into the room to the left. Neither Landyr nor Zaalbar was there. Looking around in the damp, dark room, Mission pointed to the door on the left.

"This is an old lock. They are probably behind this door. Banging on the door with her gun, she tapped out a pattern. Hearing a roar from Zaalbar, she set about opening the door. It took her the same amount of time it took for Carth and Canderous to check the Gamorrean bodies and collect anything valuable.

Zaalbar launched himself at Mission as soon as she got the door open. As soon as their reunion was done, Zaalbar told Mission, "The human female is unconscious." He led them back into the room.

As they came in, there was a shout from the man in the ugly colored jacket. "Morgana!" He didn't even realize he had shouted his wife's name. He was by Landyr's side immediately, pulling the neural band from her head. Her nakedness was creating lust within him, though his worry for her completely defeated it. She had no visible wounds and there didn't seem to be many bruises. He took her face in his hands and lightly slapped her. "Hey, Kasra. No sleeping on the job."

She moaned, trying to move away from him. He hit her a little harder. "I know you can hear me, sweetheart. Don't even try to pretend you're asleep." To his relief, she opened her eyes. They registered his appearance and she cracked a smiled.

"Whoops. Busted." He let her lean against the moist wall of the room and sat down next to her as his knees were aching from crouching. "So," she breathed out in a rattled sigh, "How's it going?"

Canderous swaggered over, pointing his gun at her head. "You are an idiot. Next time I'll shoot you before you worry your boyfriend to death," he gestured to Carth.

"We aren't dating." They replied in unison, voices low and serious.

"Right…"

Zaalbar had finished telling Mission about how Landyr had stood up for him even when they were surrounded and her bravery. Mission crouched down next to Landyr and spoke in Twi'leki. "He's declared a life debt to you for your courage. He says you faced five armed Gamorreans unarmed. He said you are a practitioner of the Echani Arts."

Replying, she nodded. "I understand his commitment he has made to me…though I think it foolish. He is right about my Echani..." Returning to Basic, she addressed Zaalbar. "My friend, I am honored you would do such sacrifice." He growled at her in appreciation. He was like a child too.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Carth supported much of her weight and heard every stifled moan of pain. Her shoulder was dislocated and her ankle was turned. Both happened from being tossed against the wall. Both were made worse by having three seizures. They were so violent; she was the ground in less than a second when they struck. Carth took it upon himself to hold on to her so that if she did have another seizure he could try to prevent her from damaging her brain further.

They didn't speak as they moved their way through the sewers towards the force field Mission spoke about. Every time they'd slow up a bit for Carth and Landyr, Carth would lean her against the walls of the sewers and check her injuries. He'd ask her soft questions. He'd give her that look. The concerned one.

As soon as they made it past the force field, Carth sat Landyr down and motioned for a group meeting. He sat and pulled Landyr into his lap, holding her tight against him, trying to stop her seizures from injuring her. He thought nothing of it and he could not see her blushing face. "I'll put the field back up. Landyr and I will camp here tonight. You guys can scout and kill the rakghouls and Gamorreans or whatever that lie on our path ahead. I have to help her."

As if taking a cue, she stiffened and shuddered in his arms as a seizure rocked through her body. Slumping against him in unconsciousness, she was defeated. He ran a hand through her hair, trying his best to comfort her.

"You're staying here too, Mission," Canderous ordered. Zaalbar backed him up with a roar. Surprisingly to the Wookiee, she didn't protest. The Wookiee and Mandalorian headed out and Mission set about putting the force field back up.

Carth leaned his forehead on her uninjured shoulder and listened to her deep breathing, waiting for her to wake. Deciding it wouldn't be anytime soon, he set her ankle, massaging it to relieve some of the pain. Injecting her system with a kolto shot, he was happy to see the swelling diminish. Then, he set about repositioning her dislocated shoulder. Grimacing, he quickly righted it, earning a moan from her and fluttering eyes. "Mornin', beautiful."

With a shudder, she reached for him and pulled him against her. "Carth…" Nuzzling into his neck, she breathed in his scent. "I saw the truth!" Her voice was timid and frightened.

He pulled her in tighter. "Slowly. Think slowly."

"I saw fire everywhere. Fire I started… And then the Shadows consumed the land and the fire. Birds plummeted from the air to the earth, having the air strangled from their throats. The planet was fractured and burnt and broken; I could smell it. And then I could see them. Countless ghosts of those I've killed. Their screaming does not stop. I can still hear them. I hear the words they scream: Mass Shadow Generator." She cried in his arms, shaking so badly her teeth rattled. "What did I do?"

Carth was taken aback. The one who had built the Mass Shadow Generator was a Zabrak. The one who had ordered it being built was Revan, who was now dead. And the one who ordered it to be used was Karia Sveron. He knew the Zabrak and Karia personally and Revan was a male… Why was she having such nightmares? "Do you remember anything about Malachor V?"

"Why would I? Bastila told me I served in the war, but I don't know if I served on Malachor. If I did, I'm lucky to have survived." She hung her head low, whether it was in pain or in shame was debatable.

Carth shifted his weight as he sat down again, moving so that his arm went around her and she laid her head on his chest. "You described the battle on Malachor V. You could only know such horrors if you had been there. Hardly anyone talks about Malachor for it to be common knowledge. We just know that terrible things happened there because of Revan. That is where he was corrupted. That was his 'birthplace'." Carth smoothed a curl away from her face, adoring the cute curls that created a little afro.

"Who am I?" She wept silently. "Why can't I rememb – ah." She shook as another seizure took over and she collapsed onto his lap, where he let her stay. It broke his heart to see her like this. She was doing well on the medicine: she didn't have as many nightmares, certainly she had no seizures, and she was more confident in herself and acted more maturely. He had seen the decline to her infantile behavior that had occurred over the last month, give or take. _Had it really been a month?_

Mission came back from fixing the force field. It was back up and working well to keep the rakghouls out. She sat against the far wall, fiddling nervously. Piping up, she asked, quietly, "What's her name?"

Carth did not stop his ministrations on her head, continuing to play with her hair. "Landyr Kasra."

"You're Republic, aren't you? That's why you want the Jedi. I know she isn't just some ordinary officer. I've heard the name before. She's the one who defeated Darth Revan." Mission brought one of her lekku over her shoulder to softly play with the end of it.

"Yes. We're with the Republic and Bastila is the Jedi that defeated Revan. Earlier, you said that Landyr wanted to give Bastila to Davik? That's not going to happen. She knows that Bastila is very important. She also realizes that she will not sacrifice someone else to save her own skin. Landyr is better than that."

"Then, she'll keep having seizures like that. She needs the medicine and Davik is the only one who has control over the production of medicine on Taris." Mission stopped playing with her lekku to fidget with her splicer. "I don't see why you'd want to make her suffer."

Carth's hand stopped. He sat up a little straighter and lowered his voice. "She's not my wife."

"I never said she was. Though, it seems like you care a lot for her."

Neither Carth nor Mission was aware of Landyr waking up. She didn't open her eyes as she heard the words spill from Carth's mouth. "I could never think of her as being my spouse. I only care for her because it gives me a goal to achieve. I abhor her morals. She'll sleep with anyone under the sun for personal gain, but she finds it bad to leave a dead man or woman without saying a prayer or at least closing their eyes. There is an imbalance, I think. The fact she extorts her sexuality and manipulates people makes me sick. I don't see how she is helpful what-so-ever to the Republic or why the Jedi would even pick her to assist Bastila. I can't trust her." As he looked down, ashamed he had to dispel any feelings he had for her, he looked straight into her jade-colored eyes.

"I'm sorry, Carth." She sat up, grasping at her head as it spun. She got to her feet shakily, and bolted down the corridor.

Mission let Carth chase her down, not bothering to stop either one.

"Landyr! Landyr, stop! You're not well enough!" He could almost catch up with her; she was just out of reach.

"Not enough for you, you mean!" Yelling at him slowed her down. She closed her eyes in horror as he caught her and spun her around so that he could back her up against the wall. As her back pressed into the dampness behind her, she glared at him. "Don't I make you sick?" The venom and hurt in her voice tore at his heart. "Oh, that's right. She's a whore. She doesn't really have feelings."

"I didn't mean any of that," he whispered harshly to her.

"It seemed to me you damned well did. What is your problem with me?" She struggled in his grasp, but he held her steady.

Tears formed in his eyes, but he quickly dismissed them by blinking rapidly, though his voice was still raw and rough. "I keep seeing Morgana in you. Your stubbornness, courage, perfection," his voice was barely audible. "I keep comparing you to her to make me feel better." She did not resist him as he rested his forehead on her shoulder.

Sensing something, she calmed her anger and hurt and asked, "What did she do to you?"

Carth raised his head and she could see his dark eyes cloud over with tears again. "She had an affair with my best friend and mentor. My son, Dustil… Admiral Saul Karath is Dustil's father." Clearing his voice, he murmured, "Every time I see you with another man, I think of her. I don't want her to ruin you…"

Landyr had lost all of her anger as she picked through everything he had said since she had woken. He had thought of his wife and taken it out on her. That's the mantra she had to tell herself to feel slightly better. Leaning forward, she positioned her face close to his. She spoke gently. "I won't let her ruin me."

The day before, she had kissed him, though it was unaffectionate in both parties. The one they shared there in the damp sewers drove cold thoughts and hurt feelings far from their minds. Though it lasted for a mere breath, they felt cleansed.

Hurt flooded her eyes again with a slight glisten of amusement. "That was your only free-be, jacket." Darkly she thought,_ And it is the last kiss. I cannot love you._

* * *

A/N: The title is taken from a very good song by Anastacia. I challenge you to listen to it.

Serious Inquiry: Those of you have followed this story or favorited or even read this before, why do you not leave comments? I'd love to hear feedback from you as well! Though, you do not have to review. I will not make you.

Coy questioning: How was this chapter? Was it too dark? By escalating her brain condition, have I backed myself into a corner? Do you think Landyr will be willing to trade in Bastila for her medicine? Was a confused and angsty Carth too much in this chapter? Did you catch my teaser for the next story in this chapter?

BIG QUESTION: What do you think about what I've done with Morgana and Dustil? Do you really hate me?

~PlaguedPorcelain

Please review. I'd love to hear your opinions: big and small, kind or not so... **I challenge you to review!** It even rhymes.

PS: If you are the first to review, I shall review one of yours: a nice lengthy review. If you are the first to catch the teaser in this chapter, then I will feature your username, for a week, on my profile with the note: **I here dub thee 'Knight of the Old Republic teaser-finder'. Your reward for such courage is this moustached smiley. :K**


	11. Chapter 11: Getting Out

A/N: Yes, I am still alive!

Well, I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving if you live in the United States -or if you celebrate Thanksgiving when we do. Personally, I'm ridiculously tired as I worked every day of my break other than Thursday. I am not a happy camper. No amount of money is equivalent to the sleep I've lost.

I have a ton of excuses why I have not uploaded this earlier. Most of them involve college stuff and work, but I have to be honest, I rewrote the ending of the chapter at least six times. It was terrible. Even now, I hate this chapter. It is boring and nothing really happens. I am upset with my plot progression, but I find its because of my ridiculous obsession with character development, though I have to say it is poor development.

Maybe I've just been infected with the winter blues. Whatever the reason for this crappy chapter, please forgive me. Know that I will get us off Taris in the next five or six chapters. Stay with me, even though I'm sure y'all like to kill me.

Have a nice day. Read and Review please.

Thanks,

Plagued Porcelain

* * *

Chapter 11: Getting Out

After getting a nice long nap, the time between her seizures was lengthening. She was thankful for that because as they worked through the sewers, they faced more rakghouls than they had before. She had had a seizure as the creatures were looping towards them, only to have Zaalbar pick her up and carry her over his shoulder. She awoke flailing about seven feet in the air. They now were walking the path to the sewer entrance of the Black Vulkar base.

Landyr was walking between Canderous and Carth with Mission behind Carth and Zaalbar behind her. She caught Carth staring at her. Laughing with awkwardness, she asked, "What?"

"Are you getting fatter? Been eating too much at the cantina?"

"No!" Looking down to her stomach, she did notice she was a little bit bloated looking. Maybe she was getting fat from all of the sleeping she was doing and all the fatty foods served at the cantina. "Well, you aren't getting any thinner…"

"That's because I'm older than 30. I'm allowed to get fat." He laughed.

Canderous shot him a look. "I'm older than you, and in better condition. And I definitely have better sex appeal than you. That's why she slept with me instead of you." He looked Landyr up and down with a childish grin.

"My sex life is not up for conversation, besides there's a kid and her Wookiee here," she laughed it off.

Mission's face darkened before she barked out, "I ain't no kid! Big Z's my friend, not my babysitter!"

Landyr tried to apologize, but Mission would have none of it. "You guys act like you're so high and mighty because you're adults! You go around and give me lectures on little things because you think I'm just a kid! Well, let me tell you -"

"Mission," Carth stepped up with a stern face, placing himself between the women. "Don't snap at her. You want a lecture? How's this: only bratty little children fly off the handle because of simple comment."

Landyr groaned as she heard his words. He was only making things worse. Mission clearly agreed with her. "I don't have to listen to you, Carth! You ain't my father – though, you're sure old enough to be! So keep your lectures in your withered old head, 'cause I don't need 'em!"

Canderous, tired of the infantile fighting, growled and spoke lowly. "I sure as hell don't need this! If any of you –especially you, ge'tal – say another thing, I will personally fill your annoying mouths with bullets, got it?" They were silenced at the seasoned warrior's words. "Plus, we have bigger issues to deal with." He pointed to the open door in front of them. The next room was vile smelling and a familiar growling could be heard.

Feeling sick rise up in her stomach, Landyr leaned heavily against the wall of the sewers. "Mission, why didn't you tell us?"

Carth looked to her, but did not offer any support. He stayed rooted to where he was and questioned, "What?"

"Rancor," she blurted out as the sickness grew too great and sat down against the wall.

Carth's brow furrowed in anger. "You forgot to tell us that there is a rancor?! You've led us blindly into a trap!"

"Carth, I didn't know about this, I swear! Last I was here there wasn't a rancor. You can't blame me for not knowing!" Mission stared at Carth, daring him to press her any further.

"Whether or not she knew about this, this is the way we have to go. Now, what should we do about this?" Canderous glanced in defiance towards Carth. The older man earned a glare, but nothing more.

They heard her rustling about, raising her head slowly. "Anyone got a grenade?" She struggled to stand, before slumping back down. Her eyes dragged slowly open. "Anyone?"

Canderous said he had. "Good. Give it to me." Taking the grenade she put it in front of her.

"What are you…?" Mission started.

"Shut up." Taking out a vibroblade, she put the blade to her hand and drew it across her palm. Blood poured through the cut. Taking the grenade, she rubbed her blood over the weapon. Wincing as she did, she cut more of her hand as the blood was not sufficient enough. "Shit."

"Landyr…"

"I said 'shut up', Carth." She swore in Mandalorian before coating the grenade some more. "Okay this should be enough. Mission, run this out to that pile of skeletons. Just put it down and run back here."

Mission took the grenade and as she ran out, she spied the rancor with its back to her. It was growling as it smelled the fresh blood.

Carth came to her side and looked at the wound. "It's deep."

"Of course it is. It needed to be. Just burn it." She held out her hand to him.

Taking it gently, he shook his head and tore off a piece of his undershirt. He tied it tightly about her hand and gave a confused look. Just as he did, a loud bang went off, shaking the walls of the sewers. Mission came running back into the hallway, covered in exploded rancor guts. The teenager was wide-eyed and in awe. Carth rolled his eyes as she asked, "Where'd you learn to do that?"

Landyr puffed her chest out in pride. "I'm not sure what it was called… But, it was so beautiful. The sky so blue just like the ocean. It wasn't a good vacation place though; you know, being overrun with rancors and all. We should get…" She was cut off by the sound of blaster fire. A shot hit her straight in the chest, causing her to fall to the ground.

"Landyr!" Mission desperately moved in front of her to take out the two Vulkars shooting at them. After both of the gang members were down, she turned to help her. "Don't you dare die…"

"Why would I die in these shitty sewers?" She breathed heavily, but sat up. "Cool, right?" She took her shirt off to expose her bra covered chest. The blaster fire had burned through fake skin, eroding it away to expose a dark metal underneath. "Durasteel chest plate. I got it during the war." She knocked on it; it made the same sound having a normal chest would. "You'd never know."

Carth brows furrowed. "So when we left Coruscant that day, when you took fire to the chest, that's how…"

"Yeah."

"Okay, now that we're done showing off for people, ge'tal, care if we move on?" Canderous stalked away into the room of where the rancor had been. As they passed into the room after him, they found themselves in awe of the great beast. It was headless now, but it surprised them that it had grown so large.

They crossed into the next room and climbed the ladder at the other end, opening the door into the Black Vulkars' Base.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Damnit! She's not here!" Landyr pounded hard on the desk that the security camera sat on. They had scoured both floors and all of the rooms. Bastila was gone, along with Brejik.

"Brejik's probably got her in his safe house," Mission reasoned.

"Well, that doesn't fracking help us at all! Shit." She ran her hand through her hair slowly, thinking. In a burst of rage, she punched the wall next to her. Cooling down, she whispered, "When is it ever easy? Why can't I ever get it my way?"

No one bothered to say anything as she paced. Her red hair was accented by her pale face and flushed cheeks. To any one of them, she looked sick. It could have just be the stress she was under, but as Carth noted, he had seen this look of sickness before. Yet, he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Inventory check." Landyr started rattling off items. "10 guns, 1 crossbow?"

"Check."

"Vibroblades: 6?"

"Check."

"Explosives, meds, credits, necessaries?"

"Check."

"What else?" she asked Canderous.

"Prototype accelerator."

She smirked. "Good."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Cheers," Landyr raised her glass to the Mandalorian.

"To you, ge'tal." He drank down the hard liquor. It was nice, drinking with family. She felt that the kinship and culture they shared helped her express herself easier with his presence. She knew that he understood her just because of their heritage. He also did not question her motives or tactics. He trusted her.

And she definitely trusted him. She had to. He was Mandalore, whether he claimed the title or not.

Their silence was filled by the music of the cantina band. She was glad for some stress relief. Mission and Zaalbar had wandered off somewhere, probably down into the Undercity. Carth had turned in early, finding refuge in the Hidden Bek base. She was alone with Canderous in the cantina as it was fairly late in the evening. Most of the local residents had gone to sleep as the next day was the big swoop race.

It had been a week since they had raided the Vulkar base, yet they had not been confronted by Brejik or any of the Vulkars about their involvement. Maybe Mission had come through with destroying the video recordings. Or maybe the Vulkars were too scared to come after the two Mandalorians, Wookiee, Twi'lek, and Carth. Though, she was dubious about the Vulkars' fear of their crew.

"Hey, kid," Canderous drew her attention. "I've got something for you. Davik gave this to me today when I contacted him." He pulled a box from his pocket. Inside were her cigarettes.

Snatching them greedily, she lit up on, immediately taking in a huge breath. It was liberating, like all the stress had been taken from her life. She just breathed for a while, taking in the intoxicating smoke of the medicine. Her head stopped the spinning it had been doing, the nausea she had felt earlier had subsided, and she hoped that the seizures would stop relatively soon. "Thank you, Canderous."

"No problem. Davik wishes that when you win Bastila that you report to him immediately so that he can discuss the bargain he made with you." He finished his second mug, having it replaced with another drink.

"Sure. That's fine. I'm sure he will have questions, especially when I tell him he will not be able to have Bastila." She pinched the bridge of her nose and elaborated, "We will be getting off this planet. I know Davik has a ship. I will give him Bastila if and only if we can have his ship. That is my deal."

"Even if you do manage to get a ship, you'll need the bypass codes to get out of the quarantine."

She smiled and took another long draw. "I've done my research. Those codes are in the Sith base. The real question is how we are going to get in. The blast doors are a bitch to get through."

"I know of a little droid who can get us in. Do you have the layout of the base so that we can plan a strategy?"

"Enough schematics. We'll figure it out when we get to that point. Let's just enjoy this drink." Life was good. She had liquor in her hand and her medicine back. She was prepared for the swoop race, having practiced numerous hours in the past week. She was going to win the race, win Bastila. And soon enough they would be off the wretched planet. "Canderous," she tipped her glass to him.

"Ge'tal," he mirrored. "To Manda."

"To Manda," she echoed.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

It was far later when they finally went to sleep themselves, collapsing on the bed in Canderous' apartment in the Lower City. She wished to the times of her amnesiac bliss where she did not have to worry about the fate of the universe, which is what she thought of the race. Her dreams granted her wish of a time when her amnesia had been prominent. Though harsh and cruel they were to give her such dreams of someone most treasured: Trask.

* * *

_ge'tal means red in Mando'a._

A/N: I'm too depressed to even ask y'all questions. Even my Southern is coming out. Damn it. Oh, well.

Here's some questions: How much did you hate this chapter? Is this story getting stupider than it already was? Is it worse than Revenge of the Sith?

My answers to those questions: On a scale of 1 to 10, I hate this chapter at a number 10000. It has completely plummeted into suckiness. Yes, it is worse. It is Jar Jar Binks bad.

Review if you agree.

Thank you so much caring readers,

PlaguedPorcelain


	12. Chapter 12: Belonging

Sorry for the very long wait for this story! I actually had most of it written about a month ago, but I did not know how to finish it until this last week. I have been very busy with school and work and college stuff, which are all very important things. I also started writing another LOTR story last month and so that has commanded my attention as well.

Disclaimer: Same as always: I don't own anything except the things I own.

Chapter INFO: This chapter was specifically tailored for those of you who love a little Canderous/Revan action.

* * *

Chapter 12: Belonging

"Are you serious?" She bolted up from the bed. Landyr quickly looked to Canderous in anger as she began to strip. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Ge'tal," he moaned, "you just looked so precious." He mocked by making a kissy face.

"Ha ha. Very funny. Toss me my pants," she commanded as she pulled on her underwear. After catching her flying clothing, she pulled them on, giving Canderous looks as he cleaned his guns carefully. "Are you going with me today?"

"I'm the only one who can save your life if things go bad. Your lover boy doesn't really have any talent for fighting."

She unhooked her bra and threw it on his bed with a snarl, grabbing another one from her bag. He stood and came over to her as she had trouble hooking it in the back. "Let me." His hands replaced hers and hooked the bra straps together. He gave it a quick snap which earned him a glare and returned to cleaning his guns.

She fished around for a shirt in her bag. Finding none she picked up the one she had discarded, smelling it. "Force no!" Inhaling the smell of liquor and sweat and the stench of poverty, she dropped it onto the floor where it belonged. "Canderous, do you have a shirt I can borrow?"

"Second drawer." She went to where he mentioned and retrieved the tightest looking shirt he had. It was a still far too large on her but it was good enough to race in.

"What," he asked when he caught her staring at him.

"Just thinking. And this shirt smells strange…good, but strange. Like kolto and … mint. Weird combination." She stretched, cracking her back, before she came and sat across from him, pulling the shirt down over her head.

He did not look up to see her expecting staring. Sighing, he put his gun down and raised an eyebrow. "What do you want, ge'tal?" He was not cut out for this two-way communication obsession she seemed to have. He liked being a man of few words; he really wasn't the advice giver.

"Answers."

He reached for her arm, grasping it harshly. His touch turned gentle as he traced the lines on her palm. "Do I get something," he kissed her palm. "…in return?" He raised an eyebrow in lewd suggestion.

She cocked her head to the side with a grin, "Maybe later, comrade." Turning serious, she focused hard on his features, readying to tell if he was lying to her when he answered. "Do you support my decision to give Bastila to Davik?"

"I'm not particularly against it."

"Will you come with me when I leave Taris?"

He withdrew his hands from hers and leaned away from her, suddenly cold to her. "Where are you going?"

She stood, brushing a hand through her short hair. "I'm not sure yet, maybe Nar Shaddaa. But I want away from … from the tediousness of missions like this. I don't want to work with the Republic anymore."

He was amused with her. Clearly, she was tiring of always doing the 'right' thing based on what the Republic said. The Republic was just too boring for her. "And why's that?"

"I feel judged, watched…" She wrapped her arms about herself, holding her elbows. Without pressing the issue, Canderous stared at her, hoping she'd elaborate. He was rewarded as she collapsed back down into the seat. "I constantly feel like I have finally won his trust, only to have that feeling thrown back in my face after I do a single wrong thing. It's painful to understand that someone distrusts you so much…"

"Who and what are you talking about," he asked, hiding a smile.

She rolled her eyes. "Carth, you bastard. A week ago, remember when we got down into the Vulkars' garage, we met with those two Twi'leks?"

"Yes, you almost cut a deal with them."

"Well, the fact that I was even considering it appalled him. He gave me that look, the one he gets when he talks about the destruction of Telos or his wife. He gave me that look when I told him I had slept with you for information…"

"So you want to run away from that?"

Anger burst from her. "I'm not a coward!"

He calmed her with a hand on her arm. He squeezed gently. "Never said you were, ge'tal. But you stayed here last night because of what has happened in the last few days?"

She looked him straight in the eyes. "Am I that predictable? That I have to sleep around with another man to make myself feel better? I am a slut, just like he thinks." Groaning with frustration, she wept. "I am no better than my mother! An addict, a slave to some perverse thing!"

"And what is it that you think you're addicted to? What makes you think you are like your mother? What makes you think you are a slut?" His tongue was gilded with anger at her words. It was disgusting to hear them, because he knew she could not see herself for anything but a slut. And her lack of self-esteem was disgusting for a Mandalorian.

"Acknowledgement," she screamed. "I need acknowledgement! I need to know why I exist…how I exist…the purpose of my existence. I want to know who I am!" She had stopped crying, desperation had taken over, clawing at her heart. She was hysterical, but he had driven her to this point. But, it was only to help her solve her hatred of herself.

He moved from his seated position to kneel in front of her. _I can't believe I'm doing this. I have no reason to make her feel better._ "K'uur, Cyar'ika, k'uur," he kissed into her mouth. His kiss was only gentle for a second before she demanded they be harsher. He stood with his mouth still pressed to hers, lifting her up. He carried her to his bed and laid her down before him. She lost all will to continue as she thumped onto the bed.

Staring up at him, she asked, "Why do you do this?"

"I acknowledge you as ner riduur."

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

As they took their seats lining the swoop track, Mission pointed out Bastila, who stood in her underwear in a force cell, and all of the drivers. Landyr, though, was not among them. "They're starting soon. Where could they be?"

"She won't answer her comlink, but she hasn't talked to me other than asking for some credits in the past couple of days…"

Mission cocked her head to the side in puzzlement at Carth's words. "I thought she was staying with you at the Beks."

Carth cleared his throat as he answered. "No, she's staying with Canderous in his apartment. She's mad or something. I just don't know about…"

He was cut off as Zaalbar called their attention to the track entrance with a roar. Mission translated as she looked. "She's here." Getting out some binoculars, she focused on Landyr and Canderous as they entered. Between her lips dangled a cigarette. Insurance, Mission thought. Canderous was pushing the agenda. This was a turning moment, an important crossroad.

They watched patiently as she failed to set the record twice before achieving a lower time than Redros, the racer for the Vulkars. Just as soon as she had celebrated, Redros set a very low time.

"Ge'tal! Come 'ere," Canderous beckoned. She came and stood in front of him, blowing smoke in his face in anger. "Use the accelerator this time." She jumped into the cockpit of the swoop bike. He grabbed her arm before she lined up for the next race. "Don't die, ge'tal."

"Right." She focused her attention on the lights. Red… Yellow… Green!

It was over faster than she could have counted. As she parked, Canderous signaled to draw her gun. As the announcer declared her time, he pronounced her as the winner. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the winner of this year's swoop race! Put your hands together and show your appreciation for one of the most daring riders this swoop track has ever seen! Through your skill and courage you have proven yourself the premier swoop rider on Taris and brought great glory to the Hidden Bek gang. Now, here to present the champion's prize: Brejik, leader of the Black Vulkars."

He came up, dressed head to toe in armor. "At least, he's not drunk like last time," she whispered to Canderous.

He turned to the crowd with a nasty snarl. "People – hear me! She cheated! She works for the Republic!"

Her gun fired, "Bye Brejik." He took the blaster fire before the chaos broke out. Instantly, Canderous' back was pressed against hers as they shoot their enemies. It wasn't too long that all of them lay dead on the ground.

The force cage was open and Bastila came out, positioned to strike against the two Mandalorians. Before she could do anything, Canderous wrapped his arm about Landyr's neck, crushing her windpipe slightly with his large bicep. He pressed his repeating blaster to her temple and barked, "Go through that door or her head gets blown to pieces."

"Do what he says! Please, Bastila!" Her eyes were wide with fear as she screamed to her friend. Struggling in Canderous' grip she screamed in Mando'a as he pushed her away from the battle. "Let me pray over them, Mandalore. Let me send their souls away!"

"Manda does not deserve them, ge'tal. We have a schedule to keep." He punched her low in the stomach, knocking the wind from her and forcing her to move. "Jedi?"

The Jedi moved towards the door, figuring that she was not swift enough to save Landyr before he pulled the trigger. She walked with her hands behind her head and proceeded through the back door of the swoop track.

X~X~X~X~X~~X~X~~X~~X~X~X~X

"What's happening, Mission?!" Carth was cursing as Sith flooded the crowd seats, blasters firing as they tried to keep control in the chaos.

"Canderous is using Landyr as a hostage to make Bastila do what he wants. They're going to Davik's!" Her binoculars zoomed in on their retreating figures.

"Is there another way out of here?" Mission didn't answer as she and Zaalbar took out three approaching Sith. "Is there another way out of here?!"

"Down!" Zaalbar disappeared over the edge of the area wall as Mission shouted her answer. She soon hopped over and landed in Zaalbar's arms. As the Sith were advancing on him, Carth made the decision to follow, flailing wildly until he landed in the strong, furry grip of the Wookiee. They ran as the troopers fired in their direction as they made for the door that Landyr, Canderous and Bastila had gone through.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Get in the speeder, princess." Canderous gestured with his head to the four person speeder that was parked just outside of the swoop track. His cool barrel was still pressed against Landyr's head as she whimpered in fright. Her eyes pleaded with Bastila to do whatever Canderous said and with some hesitation, the Jedi complied. Canderous brought his gun swiftly over the back of Bastila's head, knocking her out. She slumped in her seat and pulled her arms behind her back before slapping on a pair of metal cuffs around her wrists.

"Drive, ge'tal," he whispered in her ear, almost comfortingly. They had played their cards right. They were delivering Bastila, who was compliant, to Davik. "You're welcome," he kissed into her hair.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Landyr! Stop!" Carth burst through the door, Mission and Zaalbar trailing behind him. Her head whipped back to face him. "Let go of her, Mandalorian." Canderous tightened his grip on her, and pressed the gun harder against her head.

Carth raised his guns to the mercenary. "Let her go." Fire burned in his eyes and in his voice.

Canderous laughed. "I wouldn't expect you to understand, Republic. She made her choice. She doesn't want the Republic anymore."

She steeled her voice, not even looking at him. "Carth, he's right. I choose this path."

"I thought you'd be different…" he said after a moment.

"You don't even know who I am." She started the speeder and drove away, anger flooding through her veins. As they left, the ceiling rumbled, cracking and churning, causing debris to fall. The metal and rock above became contorted as it writhed. The path after them became blocked.

"Earthquake." Canderous said, curing her desire of curiosity.

She did not answer, thrusting the speeder into the next gear, forcing it to go even faster. She wanted to get to Davik. The faster they got there, the more easily she could erase any thoughts of regret and the feelings of hurt from Carth's disappointment. Though was it any different than any other time? No, she was a free being and he trusted no one. This was the dance they spun, an endless dance of deception and doubt.

* * *

Translations:

Ge'tal: Red

K'uur, Cyar'ika, k'uur: Hush, darling, hush.

Ner riduur: My Equal (lit. my partner, spouse)

A/N: Sorry, there are no questions today as I feel too lazy to think of them. Sorry. :D


	13. Chapter 13: In the Belly of the Beast

**A/N**: I just want to apologize to the lengthy break I had from this story. I just had way too much work to be done and the creative part of my brain was sidetracked by my LOTR fanfic. I am so glad that you loyal reviewers and readers alike have stuck this out with me. So without more hesitation: Chapter 13.

* * *

Chapter 13:

In the Belly of the Beast

"Of course, they're blowing up the planet!" Landyr cursed as they raced towards Davik's private estate. "Why would they not be? It's so damn logical!" Everywhere there were debris and people screaming. There was a sickening pleasure she felt as the fires burned and buildings crumbled. It was the feeling she had when she thought about Malachor V.

"Ge'tal, will Mission get everything in time? We told her the plan and where to get the droid, but will she follow through?" Canderous tried to jostle Bastila as he inquired about their plan. They had been planning for a week. Mission knew exactly what to do.

"She'll get it done, I promise. Plus, the Wookiee will make sure everything goes smoothly. Having the Lower City go berserk as they vie for power, will distract enough Sith. The base will not be as full as you think. Plus, they may not want to work for the Sith now that their superiors gave the order to blow this place sky-high." Landyr swerved the speeder as a piece of a building fell to her right. This caused Bastila to awaken and scream as she almost fell from the speeder. Luckily for her though, Canderous' hands wrapped about her, holding her in place as Landyr righted their course.

"Careful, you idiot." He barked at the driver.

"Don't make me throw you out, Canderous!" Looking back she saw Bastila looking at her with hatred in her eyes. "Morning, Bastila. Just getting you to safety, you know, what I'm supposed to do as your bodyguard."

"You're selling me to Davik. You're not helping me at all, traitor!"

Landyr scoffed. "And that's where you're wrong. We had to make it look as if we were going to deliverer you to Davik, because his men were watching. So here's the plan: We take you to Davik, conquer his estate and steal his ship and my medicine. Meanwhile, Carth and his crew, consisting of Mission, Zaalbar and a droid, will break into the Sith base, stealing the launch codes. We get off the planet and zoom away. Only thing that wasn't accounted for was the total annihilation of the planet, so the time frame has shortened. I say we have about an hour. Any questions?"

"You're insane, aren't you?" Bastila grinned as she accepted the plan. It was missions like this that got her youthful blood boiling with excitement. She lived for the thrill, something her Jedi masters scolded her on. It also was a pretty sound plan, discounting the variables. She just hoped it was going to work.

"Most definitely," Canderous answered for her as they pulled into Davik's garage.

"Ready, team Awesome?" they heard her ask. They answered positively. She spoke into her com-link. "Ready, team Jacket?"

"Aye, beautiful. See you on the other side. Don't die." Carth's gruff voice spoke back. She relished in hearing it. "And don't do anything stupid."

She smiled to herself. "How about a competition: 60 minutes to win it?" After getting an affirmative, she confirmed it, "Charge!"

* * *

Half way through her takeover of Davik's estate, Carth com-linked her. "Kasra, there might be a problem. There's a Dark Jedi here…" His signal was dying as static came over. He said a name but she could not make it out.

"Carth, a little busy," she spat as she ducked from a blaster shot, dropping flat on the ground. "Say that again."

"Dark Jedi, here, problem." Carth's own voice was filled with heavy breathing as he faced his own battle. The hatred or fear in his heart shook his voice.

"Can you handle it?" She took down the ones shooting at her. She had gotten separated from Canderous and Bastila. It was better that way she supposed. They wouldn't be worrying about her as much. Plus they covered more ground.

"Maybe. I'm not sure how skilled he is. I, kind of, wish that Bastila could have come with us now."

"She's a bartering chip, Carth. Plus, you got this. You promised me you wouldn't die." She finished checking the corpses of the dead mercenaries. Standing as she buckled the grenades to her belt, she said, "Do me another favor. Check for Chaar there. I'd like to get him off this planet, preferably alive."

"Landyr…" His concern flooded across with the normal static. He did not say anything. His heart forbade him to do so.

She growled in frustration. "Carth, seriously, time limit. Fifteen more minutes before I come to save your sorry ass."

"Got it." came the weak reply.

* * *

"Bastila, watch where you're deflecting those hits!" Canderous swore as the ricocheting blaster fire singed his pants. The two of them had taken out most of the base while Landyr frolicked about. Well, that's how Bastila saw it. She and Canderous made a pretty good team, much better than she would have done with Carth. She respected Landyr's decision to have her, Canderous and herself on their team. They were a deadly combination and they were needed to take out the bounty hunters. Carth's team on the other hand needed to be less skilled as they had less opponents to deal with. Or at least that's what she thought.

"Back me up better then!" she snapped.

Landyr flew a pod racer in out of nowhere. The woman jumped from it mid-flight before it crashed into the wall, killing more of their enemies. "Stop fighting!" After she got looks from the two of them, she explained, "I didn't know how to park it…"

"Where the hell did you find that, ge'tal?" Canderous asked as he covered her as she ran towards them to take her position at their side.

"Oh, the room next to the rancor head room. By the way, that was a pretty cool room… Where's Davik?" She ducked as more blaster fire was aimed at her. Following Canderous' gaze, she found the vulgar man standing in a stupid looking purple suit of armor right next to… "Is that Calo Nord?! Are you serious?" She almost peed her pants right then and there. That was the most infamous bounty hunter in the universe. He was the one that would be able to kill them. She had to take him out and fast.

"Ge'tal, aim for the neck." Canderous returned fire at the pair. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the redhead dart forward, dodging the poor shots of Davik. In her hand was a little gray grenade. "Ge'tal!"

The woman grinned from ear to ear as she launched the deadly explosive at their enemies. She swiftly retreated and threw herself behind their barricade, landing solidly on her back. A satisfying blast sounded and there was no more fire. Looking from their posts with caution, they saw so much debris. "Did I take out the ceiling with that?"

"Looks like it. Let's go." Bastila surged forward, running up the ramp of the Ebon Hawk. Landyr did a little victory dance as they raced after the Jedi. Canderous smirked and shook his head at her, commenting on her stupidity and recklessness.

"Team Awesome: successful. Status Team Jacket?" she called into her com-link as they entered the Hawk. She, Bastila and Canderous found themselves piling into the cockpit and beginning to work the systems. She stayed clear of the buttons as she was not good at piloting ships, but let the other members of Team Awesome start the ship.

There was no answer. She tried again. "Carth, status?" Nothing. "CARTH FRACKING ONASI! ANSWER ME!" she screeched, her echoes bouncing off the walls of the cockpit as the engines roared to life. Bastila sent her an odd look before continuing to press buttons.

Finally there was something. "Hey, sexy. Bit busy. Call you in a few. Just finishing off this Dark Jedi." Carth was breathing even heavier now and was grunting from exertion much more than was normal. There was a definite female scream that had sounded in the background.

Swiveling dangerously, she said, "Canderous, Sith base, pronto." The crazed look in her eyes told him that she was desperate to help their friends out. Not that he wasn't, he just didn't care as much. He nodded and the Ebon Hawk cleared the garage as the ceiling caved in.

Dodging the blaster fire from the armada, they swerved across the city until they reached the part that housed the Sith base. Landing in the loading bay and bounding down the ramp, Landyr raced forth with some extra desperation in her steps. The first two enemies she saw were downed immediately. She surged past them, searching for Carth, Mission, Zaalbar, and the droid.

The rooms she checked held nothing. Splicing into a terminal, she saw that no life forms remained on the first floor. Deciding she would venture to the second, she informed Canderous and Bastila who had just entered the base.

The carnage she found was not surprising and as she stepped over the large battle droid to get to the elevator, she understood the trouble the four of them had. Going down, she commed up to Canderous. "Shut down any conduits down here and make sure the blast doors are closed."

"Roger."

Going forth, she edged towards the far room. At the end of the hall, she could hear masculine screams coming from behind the door. They sounded like Carth. Drawing her gun, she proceeded forwards. Taking a breath before entering, she cleansed her head of any irrational thinking and then pressed the button to open the door. She strode in and was not expecting to see the sight she did.

Mission, Zaalbar and the droid were locked in stasis in electric cells while Carth was being tortured in his. He was awake and staring at her, gasping for breath. He was shirtless and was taking severe electric jolts. It was every three minutes that they ripped through him. Approaching slowly, she found no enemies. Coming to Carth, she knelt before him, analyzing the effects of the electricity on his body. "Jacket, you're in trouble." She almost puked as she could smell his frying flesh.

"Oh, Landyr," a dark male voice came from behind her. "You were always so caring. Step away from him… now." She slowly rose, but still did not look at the person. She knew who it was.

"I trusted you, you know that? You helped me realize my addiction problem… THEY TRUSTED YOU! How could you betray us?" She shook with anger, her fingernails making imprints in her palms. Her eyes closed as she tried to bat away the tears. Facing him would pierce her heart so.

The man scoffed. "It was mostly easy, aside from the initial guilt. They offered me two options: severe torturing or cooperation. Of course being the strict Republic man I was, I chose torture. Unfortunately, through the process, they streamed a holovid of them dismembering my wife. They said if I did not cooperate, my children would face the same fate. And now my children are alive still."

"We could save them!"

"Don't make any promises you know you can't keep," he said threateningly. The man came closer, laying a hand on her left shoulder. "Oh, when I was there, I learned something. Something about you." His hand snaked about her waist, holding her tight to him as his palm grazed her stomach. "Why does Malak want Bastila so much? …Because she knows where you are." His voice, barely audible, tickled her ear as he pressed up against her.

"Why would I matter to Malak, other than my service under him and Revan during the War?" Landyr watched Carth's eyes go wide as another shock went through him. He whimpered from the shock, not wanting to alarm her.

"It was definitely your service _under_ them. There is a rumor going about that you carry the heir to the Sith Lord. Malak wants the babe killed. And he wants to do it himself." He held her a bit tighter. "Tell me, have you had your cycle recently or any other signs?" He took her silence to be an affirmation that he was right. "Question is: which one of the Dark Lords is its father? My guess is that it's Revan's. And that Malak secretly loved you. Which would explain why Malak tried to kill Revan. Oh, well, we'll just have to see."

Suddenly the power cut out and there was a loud hissing sound. Before them, they could see nothing. A second later, she heard the click of a blaster being loaded. There was a rush of wind as the assailant pressed the barrel to her enemy's head. In the deepest, most guttural voice she had ever heard, Carth growled, "Let her go, Dacob Chaar. Or I'll blast your head off."

* * *

**A/N**: I feel like you hate me now with that twist. Ugh. Don't worry, I definitely laid some hints for the pregnancy thing. Not really too much hinting about Dacob Chaar though. Sorry. This chapter focused more on Carth and Landyr, which as of late this story had not seen in about three chapters. I'm glad they are back together. Them being cooperative is much preferred to them fighting.

**Questions**: From 1 to 5, how much do you hate me for the twist? Did you know Landyr was pregnant? Did you think they were really going to sell Bastila to Davik? Did you think Chaar would come back like that?

**PS**: I totally almost asked who you thought the father was. I'm so stupid.

**PSS**: I found out that I received the Presidential Scholarship from my university and I am going to graduate Summa Cum Laude. YAY! Senior year is almost over!


End file.
